I do not have my life together, by any means, but I feel as though I am getting there.
I recently got accepted into Grand Canyon University with the Presidential Scholarship, and after auditioning into the Theatre Program was given another $2,000 scholarship on top of that. I was completely through the roof when I got the call; I just couldn't believe I had actually gotten a scholarship. I know what I want to major in, and I have a backup plan or two or three in case that profession does not work out for me, or in case it, as it seems it may, gets fazed out within the next decade or possibly less.
Senior year is a time when teenagers are supposed to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their life, and commit to an institution that they will live it for essentially the next four years. It is a stressful year, as they still have to worry about their grades on top of that, and worry about maintaining or obtaining scholarships. I am nearly done with my senior year, and I can say it has been extremely stressful. As I registered for courses this year, all of the Senior Government classes were filled, and so I had to take it online starting this semester. I was honestly disappointed, as taking online classes is cool, since I can set my own pace, but it is also stressful, as you have to finish an 18 week long course in 9 weeks. The stress this puts on students is immense, and I have talked to several of my classmates about their online class progression. One told me that they had 17 days left in their class, and had 4 and a half units left to complete. There are usually between 8 and 10 units within a course. They also had already gotten an extension on the course. The issue is balancing your regular schoolwork with your after school job, sports, family time, sleep, and the addition of a whole other class you have to complete in your own home, where distractions are everywhere.
I am managing to keep slightly ahead of pace in this class, but only because I dedicate about 4 hours to the class each day; this is after my normal school day, which is also about 4 hours. This course is rather difficult and requires extensive work, which accounts for the long period of time it takes to complete the work in a day.
I am doing all of this simply so I can become a Theatre Educator in four and a half years.
Now to the point of this whole post (man, can I rabbit-trail or what?); how I came to the conclusion that that was what I wanted to do with my life.
I can honestly say that it took me a while to realize what I was meant to do, and what I enjoyed doing. Never did I think, "oh my goodness I REALLY want to be a teacher when I'm all grown up!" as a child. I was always saying "I want to be a nurse!" or "a vet!" or "a musician!" or "a tour manager!" or "a band manager!" and for a time, "a professional piercer!". I sort of stumbled upon my calling one day as I sat in class.
I was in theatre, and my mind was wandering as it often does, and I thought to myself, "wow, I really love theatre! The teachers I have had have been absolutely amazing and have taught me so much. I have watched them turn kids from indifferent towards the arts to advocates for the program within the span of four years or less. I would love to do that!"
That night, I went home and right before bed, I remembered what I did all the time as a child: I taught.
I taught myself to read.
I taught myself to write.
I taught myself to type.
I taught myself math.
I taught myself English.
I taught myself to write stories.
I taught my siblings to play instruments.
I taught my friends dance moves.
I taught myself to ride a bike.
I taught my friends how to properly climb trees.
I watched tutorials.
I taught myself to knit.
I taught.
All the time. I realized just how often I was teaching others and myself! I truly enjoyed it. And then I remembered Freshman year, when my lovely theatre teacher. Mr. Flora, or as we called him, "Flo", gave me the opportunity to direct a short, 10 minute one act.
I wrote that play, I cast the play, and I directed the HELL out of that play. He commended me on my fantastic script, and congratulated me on a rather well put-together play (as well as an inexperienced Freshman could do). I had a passion for theatre, and I had a passion for teaching. I loved it. I loved to show others how wonderful this art could be, and to show them the value within it.
I wanted to show E V E R Y O N E how wonderful Theatre was.
It took me YEARS to figure out what I wanted, but only a few days to say "Yes. That's it. That's what I want to do forever and ever." That's all it takes. It only takes you discovering yourself and listening to what your brain and heart know and love.
However, as many of you Arizonans know, our Arts programs are in danger.
There is the threat of having them cut. My sophomore year we were told there may not be band or theatre or tech classes after we graduate.
There just isn't a passion for the arts anymore, and the government, local and national, do not seem to think it is important, which is totally untrue. I have seen how important the Arts are, how they help people with mental issues, with social anxiety and depression. I K N O W how important they are, and I want to spread this passion, and start it in others.
THAT is how I decided what I wanted to do. Once I learned that my AMAZING theatre program at Highland High School may not exist in five years, I knew I wanted to be the change necessary to keep the arts in Arizona schools, and all schools in the nation.
I am so happy and excited to be going to school for my passion, and I cannot wait to get out into the world and begin to leave my mark on not only whatever school I get hired at, but on the students in my classes, on the district, on my state, on my country. I want to be the change. I want to start the revolution. I want to be a part of the solution, not the problem.
And THAT is how you decide what you want to do with your life. You find your passion, and you go for it. You jump in, regardless of what people are saying the future holds for it. There are backup options for me as well, English Teacher, Music Teacher for elementary students...With an education degree I can basically get a minor in any field and be able to teach it here in Arizona (which is why there are so many under-qualified teachers within our schools). There will always be options for me.
I know being a teacher does not pay much, but I honestly do not care. I am going to be doing what I love: the money is just an upside to it.
If you do not have your life together, please stop worrying! You are young, and there are so many people who NEVER get their lives "together", but live wonderfully happy and fulfilling lives. Who cares if you have everything together? That sounds super boring to me, honestly. Life should be full of adventures and unknown things. If your life is together, where is the mystery? You know how your story ends.
For me, my story is just beginning.
