Beauty Standards

Yes, this post is all about physical appearance and beauty standards that society has put into place, but mostly about how much I disagree with them; huge shocker, I know, since I agree with basically everything society has to say is the way things are supposed to be.

So let's get right into it. Beauty Standards. What do you consider beautiful? Not just for you, but for others. What makes you decide that a woman is beautiful? Is it long hair? Short hair? A thigh gap? A huge butt? There are so many different physical qualities that go into making a person: height, weight, eye color, hair color, hair length, noses, freckles, and so so many others. But what does society have to say?

Right now the big thing in the media is Body Positivity, but do you actually know what that means? "Body Positivity" is not defined in the Webster dictionary, nor is it on dictionary.com or even on Google. You can find it on Urban Dictionary, which I know is not the most reliable source for information and definitions, but considering this is a huge craze right now, it has the most correct definition out there, and one of the only ones. According to Urban Dictionary, Body Positivity is "accepting your body as it is, and attempting to make everyone feel comfortable in their own skin as well." Pretty straightforward, and I don't feel the need to explain it further. Along with Body Positivity is Body Shaming, which is just the opposite, where you put someone down based on their physical appearance. A very popular song right now, "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor is supposedly centered around Body Positivity, but puts down the skinny body type while glorifying the thicker body type. I see no problem with trying to get girls to love the skin they are in, but to put down another body type in the process? That is just counter productive, and very hypocritical. I will not even attempt to point out everything wrong with this song, because I have found that Jenny Trout did a beautiful job with it. You can read her dissection of this song and its lyrics here: http://jennytrout.com/?p=7857

Moving on, I would like to talk about YOU and how YOU feel about YOURself.

Personally, I have worked very hard on overcoming my insecurities, and become a confident woman. It was not easy, as I naturally wanted to believe that I had to be what society deemed "beautiful" in order to actually be beautiful. But what on earth does society actually know? How can society tell you if you are beautiful or not? Only YOU can do that. And the main way to believe that you are, is to actually believe that you are. I know, I know, it sounds too simple to be true. But here's a tip: Look in the mirror, and find one thing you like about yourself, your outer beauty. Just one. It should not be that difficult, yet it seems to be. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Individuality and confidence are the most attractive qualities in my opinion. I started by just saying "I guess my eyes are alright". A very common physical quality that people like about themselves, so I didn't feel great when I said it. But I decided to try and play up my eyes, so that I would notice them more, and feel more confident in my appearance because of them. I started doing my makeup to accent my eyes, to draw attention to them. Eventually, I grew to love my eyes, I went from "I guess my eyes are alright" to "I freaking LOVE my eyes!" Mission accomplished, in my opinion. Once I loved my eyes, I moved on to other physical aspects. My lips, my cheeks, my stomach, my legs. I loved my lips but felt like something was missing, so I wasn't crazy about them, so I pierced them, and then wouldn't you know it? I loved them. I began putting blush on to accent my cheeks, and all of the sudden I loved my cheeks.

I am in no way saying "you are only beautiful if you wear makeup". I am saying that all that matters is how you perceive yourself. Screw what others think of you. They aren't you. They don't have to look in the mirror everyday, or lay in bed every night and confront themselves as you. You have to live with yourself, and hating yourself and thinking you are ugly is not a fun place to be. You have to love yourself before you can love others. You can't fake confidence, and the only way to have true and pure confidence is to love yourself, and feel good about who you are inside and out. So, if wearing makeup makes you feel beautiful, do it! But don't do it for other people, do it for you. If you wear makeup just for others, but think you look alright without makeup, then don't wear it. Who cares what other people think of you? They are only in your life for a tiny amount of time, then they are gone, and they forget all about you. So live your life for you, and not for others. Your peers are only in your life for a short amount of time, you are in your life forever.

I realize that beauty is different for everyone. Some people think that skinny is beautiful, others think thick is. It's all a matter of preference, and I do not think there is a universal, or even national standard of beauty. Everyone has their own personal standard of beauty. So let's stop talking about the "standard" of beauty, and instead talk about our beauty preferences. Because when it comes down to it, that's all it is. Opinions and preferences.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Jaina

Teenage Politics

I know that any adult who sees this title will automatically assume that teenagers cannot know anything about politics since they are not in the real world yet. This is simply untrue. We may not be living on our own with our own job, bills to pay, mouths to feed, but we are certainly in the real world. Is our school and home and part time job not part of the real world? How is our world different from the 'real' world? We know the hardships that go on, the struggles out there, even if we are not experiencing them first hand. And, if we do happen to be experiencing them, we are met with the phrase "someone else out there has it worse than you". So how can we even be sure what the 'real' world is, when nothing we do is part of it? Let us just take a moment and imagine that teenagers do live in the 'real' world, whatever that is, exactly, and that they have valid opinions and views, which we all know is absolutely absurd. Once you have that image and mindset, you may begin to read this post, which otherwise will contain no relevance, because you will be stuck in your 'real' world and I will be in my not-so-real world.

Having turned eighteen over two months ago, I now have the opportunity to vote in the upcoming elections. I find this extremely exciting, as I will be making a difference in the world, and my opinions will be heard and counted as relevant for once. Although, when I discuss with adults my opinions and political views, I am met with sneers and laughter, because the thought of someone under the age of 30 with a political view and set opinion is completely absurd, since they don't know anything (I will not even begin to get into the idiocy of this, as it will completely take over the subject matter of this post, as the first paragraph already partially did). Because I can now vote, and have very strong opinions on certain political matters, I decided to take to my little blog with the few people that read it, mostly my mother and best friend at this point, and throw ideas out into the world. So, without further ado, I will tell you some of the most important issues on my mind this election season.

Equality
"Of course," you say. "a young teenager is going to go on a rant about equality. How typical." Yes, I am, and yes, it may seem typical, but that is because it is one of the most talked about, and most controversial issues that is circulating today. The issue of equality, for me, is the most important one, and it is not just about gender and sexual equality. Well, at least not entirely. I do believe that gay marriage should be legalized, but I do not think that religious beliefs and customs should be compromised. For example, an LDS church should not be forced to marry a gay couple in their temple since that is against their religion. That would infringe on Freedom of Religion in this country. But I do not think that the church should say that a monogamous couple cannot get married, simply because they are of the same sex. I am a Christian, but I do not consider myself a religious person (an explanation of which is sure to come in a post in the future), and I believe that so long as the couple is monogamous, they should be allowed to get married. What is the big deal here? They are not hurting anyone, and it isn't going to affect your lifestyle in any way. But that is not the only equality I care about. I believe that all people should be equal. All races, religions, genders, sexualities, social classes, age groups, demographics, etc. should be equal. Just because someone is different than you and sins differently than you does not mean they are worse than you, or deserve to be treated less than you are. Equality will not come swiftly; it will take a long time, and we are only at the beginning. We are still combating racism to this day, and it was 'abolished' decades ago. It could take hundreds, maybe even thousands of years for equality to become the norm in our world. But that does not mean we shouldn't start to try and correct what we are doing wrong.

Guns
The second thing on my list, is guns. I am Pro-Guns. I believe that guns are a great way to defend yourself, and they should not be banned. The restrictions on their use is already very strict, so tightening those regulations will not do anything. People will still buy them and use them incorrectly. Instead, we should do background tests on people looking to buy guns, and if anything seems off, they should be subjected to a psychiatric evaluation to determine if they are mentally stable enough to own and operate a gun. There should also be a gun safety class that you are required to take before you are allowed to carry a gun, and in that class you should have to take a test at the end to determine if you know how to safely handle a gun. Anyone who does not pass any of the above will not be allowed to own a gun, or will have their gun license revoked. It is not the guns that are the issue, it is the people that are holding the guns. Their mental instability is what causes them to go on shooting rampages, not the gun itself. Once we realize this, and once we get past our fear of an item that is our best protection, we can begin to combat the misuse of the wonder invention that is firearms.

Education
I know I already did a huge rant on this topic, so I will not divulge too much into the matter, but there were a few things I decided to not touch on in that post that I will here. There are programs being cut from schools due to budget cuts, and over-spending in the athletics that are important to balance out students' studies and create well-rounded adults. The number one program being cut is the arts. This includes dance, choir, theatre, band, and the drawing and sculpting classes. I have found that students who take an art class, whether it be a performing or visual art, are usually more self confident and self assured, and tend to be less shy than those who do not. I know that I have not done a scientific study, but this is from a students perspective. The arts should not be cut from the school. The spending in the athletic department is, at least in my state, completely out of control. There are thousands of dollars being used to update the gymnasium and the football fields, but the dance and theatre rooms are way out of date, and the stage is missing lights, the curtains haven't been washed in years, and everything is just getting dingy and really needs to be updated. There is no need for top of the line everything when it comes to sports, or the arts, for that matter. The funds for programs needs to be more evenly distributed according to needs.

Immigration
The last topic I will touch on is immigration. Since I live in Arizona, I know how controversial the subject of immigration is. Some people think the measures in place are too tough, some thing they are too soft. I believe that we need to bulk up security on the border, since there are officers dying every year from immigrants trying to cross the border, and drug cartels shooting them down. There are more illegal immigrants coming in than regular immigrants. I believe we need to crack down on those immigrants that are already here in America. They should not be allowed to vote, to go to school for free, to even live in this country after they are discovered. I realize life where you come from may not be the best, but you need to follow the process, come here legally, be a citizen of the United States. If you aren't, it is my opinion that you should be deported, and not allowed to apply for citizenship for 1-5 years, depending on the severity of the offense. This may not be the popular opinion, but I have never really followed the crowd on anything.

I realize my rants are quite lengthy, and I did not even touch on other subjects I feel strongly about, so I will quickly just list some of my opinions. I am pro-life. I am for the death penalty. I believe the government should not give out food stamps and financial aid to just anyone. I believe able-bodied adults on medicaid should be required to work. I do not believe that being overweight is a disability.

And with that, I will end this post. Thank you for taking the time to read. I know not a lot of people will agree with my opinions, and that is okay, since they are my opinions and not yours. You are allowed to have different opinions than me. That is the beauty of this country, the freedom to have your own thoughts and ideas and opinions.

Thank you for putting up with me.

American Education

In America we are blessed to have the ability to attend amazing schools for free, and learn a multitude of subjects while choosing supplemental curriculum's to coincide and enhance our learning experience. It is truly unique that we have schools that teach English, History, and Science alongside Band, Theatre, Language classes, and even Religious studies. We have the freedom in most schools to express ourselves through clothing, hair, and even accessories, including body piercings, tattoos, and other forms of body modification. And yet, our options in school are not limited to the core classes we attend, or the clothing we adorn. We get to choose what type of core class we want to attend. There are the regular classes, where you learn the curriculum the state and national governments have deemed acceptable for a student in your grade to be learning, or you may choose the advanced or AP class, which will teach you the curriculum that is taught in most state colleges, and earn you college credit if you get an acceptable score on the AP test. You may also advance within specialty classes, such as Theatre, Band, Photography, and Graphic Design to name a few. I myself am about to embark on my Senior year in High School, and am attending one of the top rated schools in the state. I have taken many classes that have tickled my fancy at different points in my life. I have taken Journalism, a World Customs class, Spanish, Creative Writing, Theatre, Financial Applications, Animal Science, Biology, along with the regular classes that I sometimes enjoyed greatly. I have seen the wonderful things that the American Education System can provide, but I have also seen the hurt it does, and some of the things that are seriously wrong with it.

I can practically hear you groaning now, since you can see that this is turning into a post that is not dedicated entirely to praising this Education System that is in place in our wonderful country. Although, I did want to address the things that it is doing right, because there are some great things going on here. But the major portion of this post is just pointing out some things I have noticed in my nearly 12 years of participation in this system. 

The first thing I would like to address, is the most common issue that is brought up in conversations about the Education System; the grading scale. For all of my years, the scale has been 90-100%=A, 80-89%=B, 70-79%=C, 60-69=D, and 50% or below=F. While this scale makes sense in my head and in the heads of many others nationwide, the biggest issue I have found with it, is that parents, students, and even teachers have used these scales as a test of a students' intelligence. If one student gets a D in their math class, and their peer gets an A, the one who got an A is seen as more intelligent than the one who got a D in that class. Yet, that same student that got an A in math could go and get a D in English, while their "lesser intelligent" peer could get an A in that same English class. Do you see the issue here? The grade does not determine one's intelligence, because everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. And taking the average of all of a students' grades does nothing to determine their intelligence either, because that student could suffer from very real, and very serious diseases such as test anxiety, social anxiety, ADD, ADHD, or any other number of things that cause them to not do as well in school. They could have the material down pat at home the night before, but as soon as you put them in a classroom setting, where the fate of their grade and even their ability to graduate to the next grade level rests on this one test, this one percentage, they freeze up, and forget everything they knew so well just twelve short hours ago. Yet, ask them in a pressure-free setting to solve the same logarithm that gave them such trouble on a test, they will be able to give you the answer easily, with no apparent frustration. The root of the issue lies in the importance that teachers and parents put on their children to succeed, to be the top of their class, to always have straight A's. I am not immune from this pressure, as I nearly failed a class in my Sophomore year because I always stressed about failing the test, failing the class, being a disappointment to my parents, and not getting into college. My parents are wonderful, and once I broke down and told them my frustrations and the reasons why I kept getting F's on all of my assignments, they told me "we don't care what grade you get on tests, or even what grade you get in the class. Do your absolute best, because you cannot do anymore than just that. And if your absolute best is a D, then we're proud that you did your best and got the grade you deserved." That lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders, and I began testing with less stress, and although my grades did not significantly improve, I was remembering content that I would have otherwise forgotten in my stress-induced test taking. I passed my class with a 63%, and when my report card came in the mail, my mom gave me a hug and said "good job, Jaina! I know that class was very difficult, but I am so proud you did your best and passed it!" The sad thing was, I still felt like I was a failure, because my best was a D, while others in my class had ended the year with grades that were past 100%. I thought, "am I less intelligent because I didn't understand a lot of the content in this highly advanced class that is meant for college students?" I began wondering if I would ever amount to anything, if I would ever graduate high school and go to college. This worry was not just because I'm a teenage girl, and we worry about everything. It was because I have been trained through years of school to believe that anything less than an A is unacceptable, that only straight A students will go to college and become successful, and everyone knows success and a high wage means you are happier than others. It wasn't until I took Financial Applications my Junior year, that I had a teacher that said something no other teacher had ever told me. "Do what makes you happy. Don't try to make your wage fit your budget; make your budget fit your wage." You see, my teacher had graduated college with a degree in Engineering, and she was working somewhere and making a ton of money. She was making a small fortune. But, she was unhappy, and hated going to work everyday. "But, Jaina, work is work. You aren't supposed to enjoy it." No. You go to work for the majority of your day, and give it nearly all of your energy, spend all of your time there, and dress up for it. When you get home, you have a small amount of time to spend with your family. You should love going into work everyday, and should not be contrary when you have yet another thing to do that day. My teacher told me that when she would come home from her high-paying job, she was irritable and unpleasant to be around. She would get into fights with her family, and it just was not a good situation. Once she switched jobs, and did what she truly loved, teaching, she became a happier person all around, and was happy to go to work, and was happy when she came home. She does not regret leaving her high-paying job for the seriously underpaid role of a teacher. So why are schools teaching kids that they will only be happy if they have a high paying job, and the only way to get that is to get straight A's all throughout their school years, which can only be achieved through hard core studying, stressing, and distancing of yourself from all distractions? Oh, but you need to do extracurricular activities such as sports and band and choir, otherwise you won't be well-rounded enough and colleges won't want you. And don't forget to do community service and volunteer work. And you have to get a job as soon as you are 16, otherwise colleges will think you are lazy. Are you not just stressed thinking about balancing all of that? No wonder kids are getting depressed at younger ages, and there are 13 year old kids with stress ulcers. There is too much pressure put upon kids to get A's in class. Once we relieve that pressure, students will actually do better in school, because they will know that their best is their best and it is good enough.  

The second topic I would like to touch upon, is the highly controversial subject of the dress code. I do believe that having a dress code is an important part of public schools, especially one's without a set uniform. Students should be allowed to express themselves through their clothing, but you definitely do not want their clothing to be distraction or offensive to others. But schools tend to take this idea of regulating what students wear out of proportion, and out of context. Yes, profanity on a shirt could be seen as offensive to someone who believes you should not curse, and yes, a girls shirt should not be so low that there is really nothing left to the imagination when she bends over to pick up a dropped pencil, but we cannot change the dress code to fit the rampant hormones that are at work in teenagers. Some shorts really are not too short, and some tank tops are not too thin or revealing. I dated a guy once who said he had never spoken to a guy who found shoulders arousing. "It's just skin and bones, honestly, and I don't see how that could be seen as sexy." So why are schools so hell bent on telling girls their shirt sleeves are too thin? I agree that spaghetti strap shirts are not acceptable for the learning environment, but why am I not allowed to wear my normal two finger width tank tops to school? How are they inappropriate? They are not low cut, and they do not dip too far down under my arm. They just show the skin on my bony shoulder. Also, why is it that guys can claim "her shirt is distracting me from class", when the real issue is "I can't control my thoughts and my dick for a few hours a day"? And the issue isn't just with the girls' dress code. In seventh grade, kids at my school were not allowed to wear certain band shirts, because they were deemed "satanic". Kids would be sent home for wearing Metallica and Pantera shirts because the administration said that they were "devil worshiping bands", even though the shirts were completely harmless. I find it unfair that some kids were not allowed to wear their favorite bands shirts, because they contained the image of a skull on them, or the word "hell", which was actually in context to the place, not the "curse" word. I was once asked to change my shorts because they did not come down to my fingertips, which for me is ridiculous, being a very tall girl that has Marfan's syndrome, I find it difficult to find shorts that reach my fingertips that were not intended to reach my knee. Trying to explain things like this to school officials is useless, as they will just point out the fact that your shorts are higher than your fingertips, and the dress code states they have to be there, so you have to change. It is completely embarrassing to be called out of class and sent to the office, for what was a centimeter of difference. I am obviously a whore because my shorts were slightly above my fingertips. Boys are also not immune to the ridiculous standards of the school dress code. They are not allowed to wear chains on their pants in some schools. I cannot, for the life of me, understand this one, as the excuse to this regulation is that chains are affiliated with some gangs. With this logic, anyone wearing chains on their pants must be in a gang. Pocket watches were also banned with this rule, because their chain hung out from the pants pocket. In some schools, boys are not allowed to have ear piercings in. How can a school claim to promote self expression, yet outlaw something as simple as a stud in a boys ear? Is it really that much different from ear piercings on a girl? I can understand them not wanting facial piercings or tattoos, but even then I disagree with the forbidding of such simple self expression. I fail to see how ear piercings are a distraction or a danger to others. That is the fundamental purpose of the dress code, correct? To prevent distractions or danger to other students? So why are ear piercings and artificially colored hair of any kind banned? And why, at some schools, are girls not allowed to wear jeans, or pants of any kind? Only skirts that go down to the knees? I am not talking about the schools with uniforms, but the schools that "allow" self expression. I do not see how jeans are "distracting" on a girl at school. Again, I believe the idea of a dress code is brilliant, but do the requirements have to be so archaic and outrageous? Are we helping to prevent distractions and danger, or are we trying to protect our students from...well, what, exactly? Themselves? Others? I believe there are some schools that need to tone down what they deem "acceptable" at school and think of the students. For me, I have two lip rings side by side, and plan on getting tattoos in the next year. I enjoy wearing skinny jeans and band shirts for the most part, but also love high waisted shorts and summery dresses. My hair is dyed a red color that looks natural. I know at most high schools, nearly all of what I said is not allowed. This is who I am, who I feel happy being, and who I can say I love when I look into the mirror. If students cannot look in the mirror and feel good about how they look because your dress code says what they would like to wear or do is "unacceptable", are you really helping students? 

The last topic I will touch on, as this post is already quite lengthy, is the fact that schools hire teachers not based on their love for the work, or even their qualifications, but based on their need, and whether that teacher fills that need, even if they fill it poorly. I cannot tell you how many times I have had computer teachers that used to be substitutes, but the school needed a computer teacher and they called to tell them they had gotten the job, even though they did not have a degree that coincided with teaching computer classes. I have had English teachers as Theatre teachers, Journalism teachers that got a degree in foreign language and knew nothing about Journalism, and I've had teachers that could not care less about whether we learned or not, and put just about as much enthusiasm into their daily teaching as I do brushing my teeth or taking my daily poop. It is absurd to think you can learn from someone who is not qualified for the position they are teaching, or even someone who shows no enthusiasm for the subject they exclusively studied in school for years. I hardly learned anything in the Journalism class I took, because the majority of the class was spent either reading from a book, writing sub-par newsletters, or talking to our neighbors pointlessly about our daily lives. Our teacher did not know Journalism beyond what a newspaper contained, so we did not have any depth in our lessons, and simply learned how to write our articles, and what we should have in our "newspaper". It was truly disappointing for me, since I did not get to really learn about Journalism itself, since my teacher was really just a Spanish teacher that was put in charge of teaching a class they were not qualified to teach. I find that I learn better when the teacher is passionate about what they are teaching. They tend to teach better when they get excited about what they are lecturing on. Their face lights up, and they capture the students in the room and their excitement is transferred to the student sitting there, listening. They are basically emitting giant waves of positive energy, which uplifts the students and makes them more positive in return. Even if you do not believe in energies and things of a spiritual nature, you can relate to times when your friend is telling you a story, and the more excited they are about what they are telling you, the more you want to listen, and the happier you are at the end. When they are telling you a story and they aren't animated at all, and just state it, almost in a bored manner, you end up feeling less than happy at the end, almost grouchy, and think to yourself, "well that was pointless." The emotions they were feeling were rubbed off onto you. The same goes in the classrooms. The best teachers are the ones that teach from the heart, and truly care about what they are saying, just as the best friends are the same way. 

I know the argument of the Education system will go on forever, since nothing is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. It encourages me to see so many young people realizing the problems that there are, and wanting to make a difference. I realize a nobody like me is not going to change anyone's minds with a simple blog post on her blog that gets seen by maybe 5 people, but those 5 people could take my ideas and opinions, and talk about them in debates, and they could spread and affect so many more people. Change is not going to happen overnight, and it is not going to happen unless we speak out, and try to make things change and draw attention to what we believe is wrong. The only people who can truly speak for how the Education System is doing, are the ones who are currently in it. Not the parents or the administration or the government, but the students who are under it seven hours a day, five days a week. 

Thank you for reading all of this, and please comment if you agree or disagree with anything I have stated, or even with stories of instances where the Education System succeeded or failed with you.

Thank you for putting up with my rants. 

I love you all, and don't be afraid to speak your mind, and speak up for what you believe in. 

Ending

The ending of a long relationship is never easy, but when the two of you come to the realization that things are never going to work, and your situations are not going to morph into something that will permit the relationship to move forward, you have to split up. You may both want to marry each other, and you both may love each other with all your hearts and feel incomplete without the other, but if marriage is not possible, and if neither of you are willing to make the necessary sacrifices for said marriage, or even if you are willing to make the sacrifices, but know you will regret it and want to revert back, you can't continue the fantasy of everything coming together. This does not mean your love has to end. There are 3 types of love. Friendly love, familial love, and romantic love. Switching from romantic love to friendly love is not easy, and takes some time, but if you went about your relationship properly and communicated your feelings effectively during the break up, you will find that becoming friends and eliminating romantic feelings is easier than you think. Turning your love completely off for someone will not happen; even if you stop speaking to each other, the love remains on both ends for an extended period of time. I have found through my recent experience that staying friends but limiting communication helps to ease back into single life, and ease out of the romantic feelings. You can still laugh with each other and help one another out, but you don't have as much contact, and do not share in intimate conversations. It is never easy to say goodbye to a relationship that you cared about, to end something intimate and wonderful with someone you so dearly loved, but God has a bigger plan for you. And maybe someday your situations will change to the point where coming together permanently doesn't mean sacrificing so much, but it also may not. You cannot rely on the slim probability that the relationship will fall back together sometime in the future. You cannot hold onto a flimsy hope. You have to move forward, learn to be okay with being alone, love yourself, do things you cannot do while in a relationship, and enjoy this new change in your life. You may find that spending time with your friends and family that you used to spend with your significant other seems more enjoyable, and gives you a newfound love for yourself and others. You will never know until you stop wallowing in self pity and trying to fix what is already broken and grab onto this new lifestyle and try new things. You never know who you will meet while doing something new.

New Member

On Saturday I will be bringing home a little Min Pin puppy to call my own. She is so tiny and is absolutely adorable. I am beginning preparations for her arrival this week, which includes obtaining toys, most of which I should be able to find around the house, buying a variety of healthy and natural treats in small amounts to see what she likes most, and setting up a few areas in the house where she can relax. The majority of little Zelda's (that is what I decided to name her) time when she first arrives will be spent in my room, where her crate will be set up. She will sleep in the room with me, since puppies tend to get lonely if they are not with someone. This way, I can calm her down through the night if she gets lonely. Plus, it is a great bonding experience for the both of us. I will spend my days loving on her and training her, which includes housebreaking and proper walking manners and how to behave in the house. I know this will be a difficult task to take on, but I know it will be more than worth it in the end when I have a perfectly well behaved and loving puppy to call my very own. Since Zelda will be my dog, all the responsibilities that come along with her care lay on me. This is a heavy burden, and one I have no choice but to shoulder since my dad isn't gung-ho on this whole idea of a puppy, thinking that I won't take care of her, but it is one that I am excited about and more than willing to follow through on. Here are a few pictures of my new tiny puppy.

I am so excited to bring her home to her new family, and so excited to train her and play with her all day long. I know that these next few months will not be easy, but they will be fun and rewarding.

More puppy stories to come in the future, I am sure :)

Thanks for putting up with me.

Jaina

Forgiveness

It's something I have been struggling with, in terms of people who have hurt my best friend. I have held resentment against one person in particular, and recently I found out that they were just as deceived as my best friend. It had been bothering me that I had hated this person for so long and they were not at fault. And if God can forgive all of my sins and all the times I drifted away from Him, why can't I forgive this person for wronging my best friend in the past? So I sent them a Facebook message and apologized for harboring resentment towards them for wrongs they weren't even aware had occured. They were just as deceived as my best friend was. I truly forgave them, and it wasn't just something I said to feel better, because in all honesty, my resentment towards them didn't bother me. Not until today, when I was reading my devotional, did I even realize that I still hated them, and God laid it on my heart to forgive them. And I really did. I have no hard feelings towards them, and I wish them the best in life. That is ultimately the point of forgiveness. Not to admit that you are being unforgiving and being resentful, but at the end of the day, to wish them the best, and move past what they have done. That is all I have to say.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Jaina

Not Quite the First...

Well here we are again, me back to blogging. This time I thought I would make a fresh start and create a whole new blog from which to rant about things and tell stories. Maybe I will even upload videos or pictures or tutorials. I'm not quite sure what this blog will be used for exactly, but I know it will include rantings.
          Consider this a little taste of what is to come. I am not exactly sure what to type about here, since it is very late into the night, and I am beyond tired, but I am trying to formulate coherent thoughts to put here. Not exactly sure if it is working.
           Today I successfully did nothing except eat 5 cinnamon rolls and a third of a bag of hot cheetos and some leftover pasta. I also watched Safety Not Guaranteed, simply because Aubrey Plaza was in it (need I more reason?). I also video chatted with my amazing and handsome boyfriend, as we do every night from 10 to midnight his time. He lives in South Carolina, and we have only met once and that was in March. However we started talking December 30th. Our three month anniversary is coming up, but I'm getting off of whatever topic I was on.
            I tried to do fancy colored french tips on my nails, but it got so messed up I just took it all of and did my basic black with an accent nail. Today it is purple with black and white polka dots. Now I sit here and type about nothing to no one in particular. This is what I have come to after all my 17 years of life.
           As I mentioned earlier, I do have another blog that I used to use back in the day. If you are interested in seeing what a middle schooler and early high school student would blog about, you can check it out at http://jainasblog.blogspot.com. I'm warning you, it's pretty atrocious and laughable.
            I used to have a little sign off phrase I would end with before my signature, and I am not exactly sure if I will continue that standard, since I cannot think of a phrase I would want to say over and over again. I don't think I even have a phrase I say continuously, other than "I'm hungry" or "I'm tired" or "I miss you". So, I'm just going to come up with one, right on the spot, and if I like it next time I write a post, I will use it again, and so on and so forth. So here this post ends, and may it be the first of many useless and meaningless posts to which I will be addressing, as I am assuming, no one in particular and maybe even no one at all. That is, of course, me assuming that no one will ever read this blog, which would be much like what happened to my last blog as you can probably see if you looked at it.
            Time to end this post once and for all.


Thanks for putting up with me.


Jaina