Beauty Standards

Yes, this post is all about physical appearance and beauty standards that society has put into place, but mostly about how much I disagree with them; huge shocker, I know, since I agree with basically everything society has to say is the way things are supposed to be.

So let's get right into it. Beauty Standards. What do you consider beautiful? Not just for you, but for others. What makes you decide that a woman is beautiful? Is it long hair? Short hair? A thigh gap? A huge butt? There are so many different physical qualities that go into making a person: height, weight, eye color, hair color, hair length, noses, freckles, and so so many others. But what does society have to say?

Right now the big thing in the media is Body Positivity, but do you actually know what that means? "Body Positivity" is not defined in the Webster dictionary, nor is it on dictionary.com or even on Google. You can find it on Urban Dictionary, which I know is not the most reliable source for information and definitions, but considering this is a huge craze right now, it has the most correct definition out there, and one of the only ones. According to Urban Dictionary, Body Positivity is "accepting your body as it is, and attempting to make everyone feel comfortable in their own skin as well." Pretty straightforward, and I don't feel the need to explain it further. Along with Body Positivity is Body Shaming, which is just the opposite, where you put someone down based on their physical appearance. A very popular song right now, "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor is supposedly centered around Body Positivity, but puts down the skinny body type while glorifying the thicker body type. I see no problem with trying to get girls to love the skin they are in, but to put down another body type in the process? That is just counter productive, and very hypocritical. I will not even attempt to point out everything wrong with this song, because I have found that Jenny Trout did a beautiful job with it. You can read her dissection of this song and its lyrics here: http://jennytrout.com/?p=7857

Moving on, I would like to talk about YOU and how YOU feel about YOURself.

Personally, I have worked very hard on overcoming my insecurities, and become a confident woman. It was not easy, as I naturally wanted to believe that I had to be what society deemed "beautiful" in order to actually be beautiful. But what on earth does society actually know? How can society tell you if you are beautiful or not? Only YOU can do that. And the main way to believe that you are, is to actually believe that you are. I know, I know, it sounds too simple to be true. But here's a tip: Look in the mirror, and find one thing you like about yourself, your outer beauty. Just one. It should not be that difficult, yet it seems to be. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Individuality and confidence are the most attractive qualities in my opinion. I started by just saying "I guess my eyes are alright". A very common physical quality that people like about themselves, so I didn't feel great when I said it. But I decided to try and play up my eyes, so that I would notice them more, and feel more confident in my appearance because of them. I started doing my makeup to accent my eyes, to draw attention to them. Eventually, I grew to love my eyes, I went from "I guess my eyes are alright" to "I freaking LOVE my eyes!" Mission accomplished, in my opinion. Once I loved my eyes, I moved on to other physical aspects. My lips, my cheeks, my stomach, my legs. I loved my lips but felt like something was missing, so I wasn't crazy about them, so I pierced them, and then wouldn't you know it? I loved them. I began putting blush on to accent my cheeks, and all of the sudden I loved my cheeks.

I am in no way saying "you are only beautiful if you wear makeup". I am saying that all that matters is how you perceive yourself. Screw what others think of you. They aren't you. They don't have to look in the mirror everyday, or lay in bed every night and confront themselves as you. You have to live with yourself, and hating yourself and thinking you are ugly is not a fun place to be. You have to love yourself before you can love others. You can't fake confidence, and the only way to have true and pure confidence is to love yourself, and feel good about who you are inside and out. So, if wearing makeup makes you feel beautiful, do it! But don't do it for other people, do it for you. If you wear makeup just for others, but think you look alright without makeup, then don't wear it. Who cares what other people think of you? They are only in your life for a tiny amount of time, then they are gone, and they forget all about you. So live your life for you, and not for others. Your peers are only in your life for a short amount of time, you are in your life forever.

I realize that beauty is different for everyone. Some people think that skinny is beautiful, others think thick is. It's all a matter of preference, and I do not think there is a universal, or even national standard of beauty. Everyone has their own personal standard of beauty. So let's stop talking about the "standard" of beauty, and instead talk about our beauty preferences. Because when it comes down to it, that's all it is. Opinions and preferences.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Jaina