Growing Up

Hello again everyone! I know I have been on hiatus for a while, but there has been a lot going on in my life recently. I have been changing and growing up a lot, deciding who I want to be, what kind of adult I am going to become.
I began my growing up mid-June, after summer camp and a lot of drama happened, and I decided "I need to change. I don't like the person I'm becoming." I did, and the girl that graduated high school is not the same girl that is here today. I started hanging out with people who were better for me (or so I thought), and they helped push me to become a better person. Of course, I eventually out-grew those people, and I saw that they were actually very childish and immature in nature, and I had to separate myself from them. I was very kind and considerate about it all, but they got hurt nonetheless.

I recently attended TRAC Camp. That is Teen Reach Adventure Camp, which is a camp for foster children to attend for a week during the summer, where they get to hang out with other kids like them, learn about God, and have the love of Christ poured into them from every direction and from the many of volunteers there. I stayed the entire week, for the boys and the girls camp. At the girls camp, I was a cousin, which essentially means I had one-on-one exposure to the girls, and was "down in the trenches". For boys camp, I was an Aunt, and just helped out in any way I could. Whether that be running down to grab blankets and pillows because some kids forgot some, or running with a cousin to take a camper to the bathroom, I did anything I was asked to do. I made some wonderful friends there, one of which no one believed we had met on our way to camp. We were extremely close!

I actually met someone very important to me now while I was there. I began dating one of the men that I had talked to nearly all of boys camp, and he is absolutely wonderful. He is so hilarious and kind-hearted and loves God. But enough about my super awesome and extremely STUNNING boyfriend, that's not the point of this post ;)

I came back from that camp changed as well. I decided I needed to change not only my inner thoughts, but my outward actions and appearances. I did a cleanse of my closet, which consisted of taking every piece of clothing I own and piling it in the middle of my room and looking at each piece and asking "Does it make me happy?" and "Does it fit? Is it flattering? Would I buy this again? DO I WANT TO KEEP IT?" I ended up getting rid of almost, possibly more than, half of my clothes. They just did not suit the person I am trying to be, or they were not exactly modest (I have also noticed myself unconsciously becoming more modest these days). I have been working on slowly replacing those clothes with ones that make me really happy, and that better suit who I want to be and how I want to be viewed. (I've also been picking up some pieces for dates, since I recently went on my first date EVER and I realized how few nice clothing items I own.)

With this, comes a difficult decision.
I have the desire to take out my lip piercing, but I also do not want to because I still like the way they look.
So, I have decided how I will come to the conclusion of my lip piercings' future: I'm going to let my boyfriend decide.

Now, I'm not going to tell him "I can't decide so you have to". I'm just going to take them out next time I see him, and say "I'm thinking of leaving them out. What do you think? Would you prefer that I put them back in? Or leave them out?" (not exactly like that, but you get the point). One thing is for sure, putting on lipstick would be a little easier!!

I feel myself turning into an adult, and I know I am ready to move on to the next stage in my life, which is college. I feel confident, self-assured, and I know what I want to do, I know who I want to be, and I have an amazing boyfriend by my side that teases me as well as builds me up and makes me a better Christian and woman. I know I haven't known him very long, but it feels like I have been hanging out with him for months. Maybe it's the fact that I have spent every minute that we are both free and it is possible to be together, with him, or maybe its just chemistry (I really think its a mixture of the two) oh man, if he ever reads this he will either be freaked out or think its endearing and cute. Or both, he's a weirdo so maybe both ;)

Anyway, I'm going to go and continue looking at stuff for college. I'm sure a post about my college shopping experiences is soon to come, probably a do and don't list, or a WATCH OUT FOR THESE HORRIBLY STRESSFUL THINGS list... who knows?

As always,

Thanks for putting up with me.

Jaina Michelle