Settling In

As I am settling into college life, I am realizing more and more who I am and what I want to do. I also realize how relaxed my schedule is compared to other students'. For instance, I have several hours every night where I have nothing to do, simply because my classes do not have a ton of homework and the homework that I do have, I complete rather quickly. This is a huge relief for me, because it means I have more time to spend with the people that matter most. I realize how close I am to my mom in particular, because it seems I cannot go a day without giving her an update or shooting her a message in Gmail telling her about my day or some mildly frustrating situation.

I wrote my first college essay in three separate sittings; one of which was in the class that it was for as we discussed the criteria for it, once was at home in my spare time just to finish the body paragraphs, and the last was the afternoon of the day that it was due to write the introduction and conclusion (writing comes easily to me, so banging out an essay and having my first draft be my final is not unusual for me). This made me realize how much time I am going to have even when papers start being assigned. Since the average college student spends hours upon hours agonizing over the intricacies of their paper, and I can get it done in an hour or two if it is a particularly difficult or lengthy paper, I have a lot of extra time on my hands. This is a welcomed nuisance for me, because it means I will have more time to spend with Joel, or more time to binge watch Netflix or read a book.

I have also been working on re-building my closet after my intense clean out. I have yet to get it back to its former glory, but I am really happy with the pieces that I am purchasing and adding to it. I see myself gravitating more towards jeans, plain shirts or really comfy patterned shirts, and dresses. Oh man, can I do some damage in the dress section of a store! I absolutely love dresses right now, any kind really, but mainly casual ones that I can dress up or down. Plus, they are fantastic for date nights, and look great with the new boots I bought! I have noticed that my chosen style has gotten more modest as well. I do not like shorts that are higher than mid-thigh; I'm just not comfortable in them anymore and they do not make me feel like a fierce goddess or a beautiful princess. I do not feel as pretty in them, so I end up not looking as pretty in them. I am just happy to be figuring out what I enjoy wearing, and what makes me look best.

I am so much more confident lately, and I do believe it is connected to my decision to not let other people's opinions define who I am, and to start looking at myself in a more positive light. I also have been focusing on what I think of myself, and working to loving who I am whenever I look in the mirror or do a moment of soul searching. I am truly happy with where I am in my life right now, and quite frankly I feel unstoppable.

This post is more self-absorbed than mine usually are, and I apologize for that, but maybe someone out there will read this and take something from it. If not, oh well; you at least get a little glimpse into my life thus far.

I am very excited for this week to be over, which sounds really negative, but Joel is returning from his 2 week long missions trip to Nepal and I am so excited to see him again. I have missed him dearly, but I am also really pumped to see his pictures and hear what God did through him in Nepal. He is truly amazing and I am so proud of the man that he is.

I have class tomorrow morning, not too early, but early enough that I have to watch what time I go to bed, so I am going to end this post with this thought: loving yourself and being happy with who you are is so much more important than what someone thinks of you, because people are only in part of your life, but you have to live with yourself forever.

Thanks for putting up with me,

Jaina