As my first semester of college is coming to a close, I wanted to create a post to bring you up to speed with what has been happening, and what I have learned in this first semester. It has been rather crazy adjusting to this whole new lifestyle, and it hasn't been easy, but it has been fun. I have already gained a few pounds, mainly due to the difficulty of eating healthy on campus (PRO-TIP: Protein bars and fruit cups make excellent snacks and breakfasts, and although it is not recommended, can be meal replacements), but I have not gained anywhere near 15 pounds. I have gained a bit more muscle because I live on the sixth floor of my building and opt for the stairs more often than the elevator. This also helps me to not have to see other people when I am not feeling well, as that is something I honestly dread. No one wants to share an elevator with a stranger when they are feeling worse than look!
I did change the name of my blog, and my template, so let me know in the comments what you think of it, or if you have any suggestions that could be better. I'm open for criticism and enjoy suggestions!
I also auditioned for my university's next play, which is All My Sons. Callbacks are tomorrow but I have yet to find out if I made it to that point. I mainly auditioned as part of the requirements for my scholarship, but I am honestly a bit excited at the prospect of actually getting cast in it. It would be rather awesome to already have a show under my belt as a college Freshman. More on that to come, I'm sure!
I am also currently applying for jobs to have next semester so I can have a bit of extra income. I am in need of a new phone, and feel guilty asking my parents to buy one. I also have been practically drooling over a particular NuMe curling wand set, but I absolutely cannot afford it. If anyone wants to be my Christmas Angel and buy me either of those things and get absolutely nothing in return other than eternal gratefulness and maybe a doodle or a handmade item of some sort, I would be more than happy to accept!
I also wanted to post the address to mail me things here on campus. This will be valid until the end of next semester, although I will be off campus from December 12 until the beginning of January. I am not expecting to get any packages then, but anything you send whether it be food, fuzzy socks, lip stick, or your words of encouragement, it would be much appreciated. You can send any letters or care packages to me at
Grand Canyon University
3300 West Camelback Road
Phoenix, AZ 85017
Attn: Jaina Popken, BOX #14867
I have found myself a wonderful little friend circle made up of people in my Acting 1 and Intro to Theatre classes, and they are so much fun to be around! We all get lunch every Tuesday and Thursday together, and have little play reading and study sessions when necessary. They are super supportive and we all lift each other up, and they make me laugh and feel very happy. Its one time I feel like I truly belong here at college and do not question my decision to live on campus.
I have also been getting back into hiking thanks to my boyfriend. We recently did a Mountaintop Sunset Yoga, in which we hiked nearly to the top of Piestewa Peak and did Yoga on a little helipad until the sun set and the valley lights turned on. It was absolutely beautiful, and I enjoyed the experience even though I had to stop a few times on the way up to catch my breath, rest my legs, and motivate myself to go further. Even though I struggled a bit on the rocky, steep hatchbacks, I loved every minute of it and never regretted my decision to tag along. The yoga was extremely relaxing and felt wonderful, and made me miss doing it everyday. It's difficult to do it all the time here in my small dorm room, especially since I share it with another human who also needs some floor space, but I'm sure I will be finding time to get it in.
I might actually be going on another hike this weekend up to Devil's Chasm (it sounds really dangerous and challenging and it kind of is. It's not for the weak-hearted), but I'm still deciding if it is within my ability. I would have to go at it slowly, and I'm sure Joel would support and encourage me the entire way. I've seen pictures of the hike and the whole way is absolutely gorgeous, and it leads to ancient Indian ruins which look amazing. I really want to do the hike simply for the views, but I don't want to break anything or kill myself hiking up there.
So, to end this post, I wanted to list a few things I have learned this semester, even though I already posted a list of this kind before. This one is different, because it is what I have learned this semester, so that is my excuse and I'm sticking with it!
I have learned
- The Freshman 15 is not a myth, but can also be gained by increased physical activity that builds your muscles
- Eating healthy on campus is one of the most difficult tasks I honestly have ever been faced with
- Sharing a room with another girl is not easy, but it really helps if she is clean
- Studying for college is not a the-week-before-a-test thing. It is an all semester ordeal that never seems to end
- There are so many things to learn and you will want to know about so many things, but you have to find a balance between what you need to and what you want to learn
- DRINK WATER. I seem to be drinking less water than I should somehow, and my skin is mad at me because of that
- It's not easy to keep in contact with your friends from high school. You can't always visit them, and when you are home, they usually have other things to do or are way too busy to meet up
- I'm way too old to deal with or even entertain any kind of drama, and have been for a long time
- I love naps but I've only taken 2 the entire semester because I'm too busy to sleep
- Sleep deprivation is hot and is a new style for me
- Under-eye concealer is a freaking life saver
- and finally, date nights are even better when you just got done with a super stressful week
That is all I currently have to say about college, and that pretty much sums up my whole semester and kind of where my life is right now. There are more posts to come, I'm sure. But for now,
Thanks for putting up with me
Jaina
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Passion
I have been rediscovering passions of mine here at college that I am really excited to get into again. One of which is writing, and its not that this passion ever really left me, but I just did not put as much effort into it as I used to. I am currently writing a book that I am really excited about, and I can't wait for it to be finished and have people begin to read my writing for the first time ever. Maybe I will publish a few excerpts on here ;)
I have also been helping out in my school's costume shop, and I am realizing just how much I love sewing. I used to take sewing lessons when I was in third and fourth grade, and I remember loving it back then. Not much has changed apparently! I still loving making something out of a bunch of fabric and having myself or others love it. I have been watching countless YouTube videos of people sewing things, or taking items from the thrift store and making new, better things out of them. I really want to do that for myself again, so I am saving up to invest in a great beginner sewing machine. Now, I wasn't a beginner when I stopped sewing years ago, I was more of an intermediate, because I had a very talented but very mean sewing tutor, but because I am so out of practice, I am sure I will need to relearn a few things. It should come back to me fairly quick though! I have more than a few different sewing items in my wish list on Amazon, and I am looking forward to the day that I can begin to order them and receive them in the mail. Until that day, I will live vicariously through others uploading their sewing projects to the interwebs.
I have been enjoying a few of my college courses very much, and others I fail to see the point of. This English class is basically the same thing I took for the past two years in high school, and I thought I had tested out of it. My honors course is far from being at the level my honors courses were at Highland, but maybe it's just because we are talking about things that I fully comprehend, and I don't really have to learn anything yet. However, I am learning so much in my Acting and Intro to Theatre classes. I am becoming a better actor, and through that learning how to teach others to become better actors. I am watching how my Acting professor instructs us, and through that I am learning how to teach students. I do not want to grow up to be a big name Broadway star. My dream is to make theatre more available to underprivileged children, especially those in the foster care system. Most of the work I would be doing is volunteer-based on my part, and that does not bother me. I am not in this profession for the money, and anyway this profession does not have much money involved. I am in it because this is what I am passionate about. I have seen how the Theatre can help anyone and everyone, and I have seen it be a safe haven for many students. I want to provide that in areas that desperately need a place for the children to escape from the world and live in fantasy.
There are so many things in my future that I am really excited about. I know I will make a good teacher, but I still worry about not impacting my students. I think every teacher worries about that though. I am so excited to see what God has planned in my life both now and in the next 4 years. It just seems as if He is slowly putting everything together. For once in my life, I feel truly content with where I am, and so excited about my future. Sure, I am still struggling with the emotional effects of my past issues, and dealing with a brain that sometimes decides that we are going to have a terrible day or week, but I know those moments are not me, they are fleeting and they do not define me. I have been surrounding myself with people who love and care about me, and I am surrounding myself only with things that make me truly happy. All the pictures on my wall bring a smile to my face, or remind me of a wonderful memory. I have quotes and passages that make me smile or again remind me of a great memory. My whole wall next to my desk here at school is full of little things that bring a smile to my face and practically emanate positive energy (I know that sounds weird but they really do make me happier).
For anyone stuck in a time in their life where they feel like nothing is going right, like the world is collapsing in around them, hold on. Please hold on for me. I am right here to tell you that everything gets better. I promise you that you will one day look back on these days and smile because you can see just how far you have come. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to contact me, and I will tell you again and again that it gets better. I am a living testament to that fact.
I just really felt the need to write today, and I appreciate every person who reads this blog, because I know sometimes my thoughts can be kind of crazy and all over the place. But I don't hold back. I just write whatever comes to my mind on a certain subject.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina
I have also been helping out in my school's costume shop, and I am realizing just how much I love sewing. I used to take sewing lessons when I was in third and fourth grade, and I remember loving it back then. Not much has changed apparently! I still loving making something out of a bunch of fabric and having myself or others love it. I have been watching countless YouTube videos of people sewing things, or taking items from the thrift store and making new, better things out of them. I really want to do that for myself again, so I am saving up to invest in a great beginner sewing machine. Now, I wasn't a beginner when I stopped sewing years ago, I was more of an intermediate, because I had a very talented but very mean sewing tutor, but because I am so out of practice, I am sure I will need to relearn a few things. It should come back to me fairly quick though! I have more than a few different sewing items in my wish list on Amazon, and I am looking forward to the day that I can begin to order them and receive them in the mail. Until that day, I will live vicariously through others uploading their sewing projects to the interwebs.
I have been enjoying a few of my college courses very much, and others I fail to see the point of. This English class is basically the same thing I took for the past two years in high school, and I thought I had tested out of it. My honors course is far from being at the level my honors courses were at Highland, but maybe it's just because we are talking about things that I fully comprehend, and I don't really have to learn anything yet. However, I am learning so much in my Acting and Intro to Theatre classes. I am becoming a better actor, and through that learning how to teach others to become better actors. I am watching how my Acting professor instructs us, and through that I am learning how to teach students. I do not want to grow up to be a big name Broadway star. My dream is to make theatre more available to underprivileged children, especially those in the foster care system. Most of the work I would be doing is volunteer-based on my part, and that does not bother me. I am not in this profession for the money, and anyway this profession does not have much money involved. I am in it because this is what I am passionate about. I have seen how the Theatre can help anyone and everyone, and I have seen it be a safe haven for many students. I want to provide that in areas that desperately need a place for the children to escape from the world and live in fantasy.
There are so many things in my future that I am really excited about. I know I will make a good teacher, but I still worry about not impacting my students. I think every teacher worries about that though. I am so excited to see what God has planned in my life both now and in the next 4 years. It just seems as if He is slowly putting everything together. For once in my life, I feel truly content with where I am, and so excited about my future. Sure, I am still struggling with the emotional effects of my past issues, and dealing with a brain that sometimes decides that we are going to have a terrible day or week, but I know those moments are not me, they are fleeting and they do not define me. I have been surrounding myself with people who love and care about me, and I am surrounding myself only with things that make me truly happy. All the pictures on my wall bring a smile to my face, or remind me of a wonderful memory. I have quotes and passages that make me smile or again remind me of a great memory. My whole wall next to my desk here at school is full of little things that bring a smile to my face and practically emanate positive energy (I know that sounds weird but they really do make me happier).
For anyone stuck in a time in their life where they feel like nothing is going right, like the world is collapsing in around them, hold on. Please hold on for me. I am right here to tell you that everything gets better. I promise you that you will one day look back on these days and smile because you can see just how far you have come. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to contact me, and I will tell you again and again that it gets better. I am a living testament to that fact.
I just really felt the need to write today, and I appreciate every person who reads this blog, because I know sometimes my thoughts can be kind of crazy and all over the place. But I don't hold back. I just write whatever comes to my mind on a certain subject.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina
Monday, September 21, 2015
Adulting
As I am beginning my journey in adulthood, I am realizing that it is a lot harder than everyone says it is! I know, I know, that's really stereotypical for a new adult to say, but seriously, there is so much no one warned me about. I decided to compile a list of some things I have already learned as an adult, and some ways I have learned to go about this process of being an adult.
1. Toilet paper is really expensive for what you use it for.
2. No matter how much toilet paper you buy, you will never actually have any.
3. A job with stable hours and a predictable paycheck is a god-sent blessing
4. You will get a lot of money with every paycheck but will always be broke.
5. Gas that is 2 cents cheaper but is a few miles out of the way sounds reasonable.
6. You drink strong coffee out of necessity, not actual enjoyment.
7. Working out isn't just for fun anymore, if you don't work out you seriously feel like crap the next day.
8. You don't need as much sleep to function as you did growing up.
9. You can't bounce back as quickly after sleeping wrong and messing up your neck.
10. For you adult women, a really good waterproof mascara and eyeliner are essential.
11. Reading time is sacred.
12. Peanut butter is even better with age.
13. You will never fully learn what all the buttons on the stove do.
14. No matter how often you clean and organize everything, it will be messy the next day.
15. THERE IS ALWAYS LAUNDRY.
16. Your trash fills up faster than you ever thought possible.
17. You choose taking the stairs over the elevator.
18. You choose water over any other drink because you are now aware of your body's own hydration.
19. Goodwill and Dollar Tree are the best places to find items you want and can't quite afford, or need and REALLY can't afford.
20. Bulk trash days are like Christmas.
21. Living on your own sounds all fun and games until you realize how much of your time will be spent cleaning your living space, even if you live by yourself.
22. Your clothing preferences become more sophisticated and you don't understand when that happened.
23. You organize things just for fun
24. Being an adult means not living in a dorm or with your parents, which means you can burn candles in your room and you can stay up late watching Netflix with no complaints.
25. You know you don't have to keep EVERYTHING clean, but you still try to.
26. The dishes pile up, you convince yourself to do them, decide to make mac and cheese instead.
27. Mac and cheese will never not be good. I'm convinced I'm always going to love mac and cheese until the day I die.
28. One day you just started enjoying eating vegetables and have no idea why or how this happened. You just ordered a side salad at a restaurant instead of fries, what's gotten into you?
29. To-Do lists aren't just a necessity now, they are a past-time and are actually really fun to make and go through.
30. The news is more interesting than day-time drama shows.
31. You really want to whine and throw a tantrum when you get bills (or tickets) in the mail but can't because you are supposed to be an 'adult'.
32. You will buy more mugs than you will ever use because mugs are awesome
33. Going out is not as fun as staying in and watching a great movie or reading a great book.
Those are just a few things I have realized as I have gotten older and entered into adulthood. I am also realizing how little time I have for a job since I am in school, and also how much I need one. I am fortunate enough to have parents willing to fill my car up with fuel and buy me any necessities I cannot supply for myself, but I really wish I could buy them on my own. It would be nice to have a job and be able to pay for things like my phone, since I would really like to buy a new one in the next couple of months. I am currently trying to get a part time job close to campus that will work with my odd and few hours of availability. There are a few places I am considering applying to, but I need to weigh my options and figure out which one is going to be the most flexible with my hours as a student.
Overall, I have been enjoying my slight increase in independence, and look forward to whatever God has planned for my life in the next year. I have some wonderful people by my side encouraging me and loving on me, and I have never been happier than I am right now, even with all the stress that school brings.
Becoming an adult is kind of terrifying, but if I can do it, anyone can. It's all a matter of mindset.
Thanks for putting up with me
Jaina
1. Toilet paper is really expensive for what you use it for.
2. No matter how much toilet paper you buy, you will never actually have any.
3. A job with stable hours and a predictable paycheck is a god-sent blessing
4. You will get a lot of money with every paycheck but will always be broke.
5. Gas that is 2 cents cheaper but is a few miles out of the way sounds reasonable.
6. You drink strong coffee out of necessity, not actual enjoyment.
7. Working out isn't just for fun anymore, if you don't work out you seriously feel like crap the next day.
8. You don't need as much sleep to function as you did growing up.
9. You can't bounce back as quickly after sleeping wrong and messing up your neck.
10. For you adult women, a really good waterproof mascara and eyeliner are essential.
11. Reading time is sacred.
12. Peanut butter is even better with age.
13. You will never fully learn what all the buttons on the stove do.
14. No matter how often you clean and organize everything, it will be messy the next day.
15. THERE IS ALWAYS LAUNDRY.
16. Your trash fills up faster than you ever thought possible.
17. You choose taking the stairs over the elevator.
18. You choose water over any other drink because you are now aware of your body's own hydration.
19. Goodwill and Dollar Tree are the best places to find items you want and can't quite afford, or need and REALLY can't afford.
20. Bulk trash days are like Christmas.
21. Living on your own sounds all fun and games until you realize how much of your time will be spent cleaning your living space, even if you live by yourself.
22. Your clothing preferences become more sophisticated and you don't understand when that happened.
23. You organize things just for fun
24. Being an adult means not living in a dorm or with your parents, which means you can burn candles in your room and you can stay up late watching Netflix with no complaints.
25. You know you don't have to keep EVERYTHING clean, but you still try to.
26. The dishes pile up, you convince yourself to do them, decide to make mac and cheese instead.
27. Mac and cheese will never not be good. I'm convinced I'm always going to love mac and cheese until the day I die.
28. One day you just started enjoying eating vegetables and have no idea why or how this happened. You just ordered a side salad at a restaurant instead of fries, what's gotten into you?
29. To-Do lists aren't just a necessity now, they are a past-time and are actually really fun to make and go through.
30. The news is more interesting than day-time drama shows.
31. You really want to whine and throw a tantrum when you get bills (or tickets) in the mail but can't because you are supposed to be an 'adult'.
32. You will buy more mugs than you will ever use because mugs are awesome
33. Going out is not as fun as staying in and watching a great movie or reading a great book.
Those are just a few things I have realized as I have gotten older and entered into adulthood. I am also realizing how little time I have for a job since I am in school, and also how much I need one. I am fortunate enough to have parents willing to fill my car up with fuel and buy me any necessities I cannot supply for myself, but I really wish I could buy them on my own. It would be nice to have a job and be able to pay for things like my phone, since I would really like to buy a new one in the next couple of months. I am currently trying to get a part time job close to campus that will work with my odd and few hours of availability. There are a few places I am considering applying to, but I need to weigh my options and figure out which one is going to be the most flexible with my hours as a student.
Overall, I have been enjoying my slight increase in independence, and look forward to whatever God has planned for my life in the next year. I have some wonderful people by my side encouraging me and loving on me, and I have never been happier than I am right now, even with all the stress that school brings.
Becoming an adult is kind of terrifying, but if I can do it, anyone can. It's all a matter of mindset.
Thanks for putting up with me
Jaina
Monday, September 7, 2015
Settling In
As I am settling into college life, I am realizing more and more who I am and what I want to do. I also realize how relaxed my schedule is compared to other students'. For instance, I have several hours every night where I have nothing to do, simply because my classes do not have a ton of homework and the homework that I do have, I complete rather quickly. This is a huge relief for me, because it means I have more time to spend with the people that matter most. I realize how close I am to my mom in particular, because it seems I cannot go a day without giving her an update or shooting her a message in Gmail telling her about my day or some mildly frustrating situation.
I wrote my first college essay in three separate sittings; one of which was in the class that it was for as we discussed the criteria for it, once was at home in my spare time just to finish the body paragraphs, and the last was the afternoon of the day that it was due to write the introduction and conclusion (writing comes easily to me, so banging out an essay and having my first draft be my final is not unusual for me). This made me realize how much time I am going to have even when papers start being assigned. Since the average college student spends hours upon hours agonizing over the intricacies of their paper, and I can get it done in an hour or two if it is a particularly difficult or lengthy paper, I have a lot of extra time on my hands. This is a welcomed nuisance for me, because it means I will have more time to spend with Joel, or more time to binge watch Netflix or read a book.
I have also been working on re-building my closet after my intense clean out. I have yet to get it back to its former glory, but I am really happy with the pieces that I am purchasing and adding to it. I see myself gravitating more towards jeans, plain shirts or really comfy patterned shirts, and dresses. Oh man, can I do some damage in the dress section of a store! I absolutely love dresses right now, any kind really, but mainly casual ones that I can dress up or down. Plus, they are fantastic for date nights, and look great with the new boots I bought! I have noticed that my chosen style has gotten more modest as well. I do not like shorts that are higher than mid-thigh; I'm just not comfortable in them anymore and they do not make me feel like a fierce goddess or a beautiful princess. I do not feel as pretty in them, so I end up not looking as pretty in them. I am just happy to be figuring out what I enjoy wearing, and what makes me look best.
I am so much more confident lately, and I do believe it is connected to my decision to not let other people's opinions define who I am, and to start looking at myself in a more positive light. I also have been focusing on what I think of myself, and working to loving who I am whenever I look in the mirror or do a moment of soul searching. I am truly happy with where I am in my life right now, and quite frankly I feel unstoppable.
This post is more self-absorbed than mine usually are, and I apologize for that, but maybe someone out there will read this and take something from it. If not, oh well; you at least get a little glimpse into my life thus far.
I am very excited for this week to be over, which sounds really negative, but Joel is returning from his 2 week long missions trip to Nepal and I am so excited to see him again. I have missed him dearly, but I am also really pumped to see his pictures and hear what God did through him in Nepal. He is truly amazing and I am so proud of the man that he is.
I have class tomorrow morning, not too early, but early enough that I have to watch what time I go to bed, so I am going to end this post with this thought: loving yourself and being happy with who you are is so much more important than what someone thinks of you, because people are only in part of your life, but you have to live with yourself forever.
Thanks for putting up with me,
Jaina
I wrote my first college essay in three separate sittings; one of which was in the class that it was for as we discussed the criteria for it, once was at home in my spare time just to finish the body paragraphs, and the last was the afternoon of the day that it was due to write the introduction and conclusion (writing comes easily to me, so banging out an essay and having my first draft be my final is not unusual for me). This made me realize how much time I am going to have even when papers start being assigned. Since the average college student spends hours upon hours agonizing over the intricacies of their paper, and I can get it done in an hour or two if it is a particularly difficult or lengthy paper, I have a lot of extra time on my hands. This is a welcomed nuisance for me, because it means I will have more time to spend with Joel, or more time to binge watch Netflix or read a book.
I have also been working on re-building my closet after my intense clean out. I have yet to get it back to its former glory, but I am really happy with the pieces that I am purchasing and adding to it. I see myself gravitating more towards jeans, plain shirts or really comfy patterned shirts, and dresses. Oh man, can I do some damage in the dress section of a store! I absolutely love dresses right now, any kind really, but mainly casual ones that I can dress up or down. Plus, they are fantastic for date nights, and look great with the new boots I bought! I have noticed that my chosen style has gotten more modest as well. I do not like shorts that are higher than mid-thigh; I'm just not comfortable in them anymore and they do not make me feel like a fierce goddess or a beautiful princess. I do not feel as pretty in them, so I end up not looking as pretty in them. I am just happy to be figuring out what I enjoy wearing, and what makes me look best.
I am so much more confident lately, and I do believe it is connected to my decision to not let other people's opinions define who I am, and to start looking at myself in a more positive light. I also have been focusing on what I think of myself, and working to loving who I am whenever I look in the mirror or do a moment of soul searching. I am truly happy with where I am in my life right now, and quite frankly I feel unstoppable.
This post is more self-absorbed than mine usually are, and I apologize for that, but maybe someone out there will read this and take something from it. If not, oh well; you at least get a little glimpse into my life thus far.
I am very excited for this week to be over, which sounds really negative, but Joel is returning from his 2 week long missions trip to Nepal and I am so excited to see him again. I have missed him dearly, but I am also really pumped to see his pictures and hear what God did through him in Nepal. He is truly amazing and I am so proud of the man that he is.
I have class tomorrow morning, not too early, but early enough that I have to watch what time I go to bed, so I am going to end this post with this thought: loving yourself and being happy with who you are is so much more important than what someone thinks of you, because people are only in part of your life, but you have to live with yourself forever.
Thanks for putting up with me,
Jaina
Friday, August 21, 2015
New Beginnings: University Tips
This week I moved into Grand Canyon University and began my time as a college Freshman. Moving in was really stressful, emotionally draining, and exciting all at once. I had two emotional breakdowns during move-in day, but am acclimating fairly well to life on campus. My classes begin Monday, and I am excited to begin the pursuit of being a Theatre Educator.
My roommates are absolutely wonderful, and I enjoy hanging out with them a lot. We have so many laughs together, and being with them is so fun. I have not attended very many of the Welcome Week events, just because they did not interest me, but me and my roommate have at least stopped in and stayed for a few minutes at each event.
Our dorm room door stays open most of the time so anyone walking by can stop in and say hello, as we would like to meet new people and make everyone feel welcomed.
I have also had the opportunity to spend time with my lovely boyfriend, which I was not expecting to be able to do until I got more settled, which was a pleasant surprise. Tonight I am going to a birthday party for a girl we play volleyball with, and she actually invited me.
Another thing before I get to the bulk of this post, is a change I have made very recently. I decided that I would take out my lip rings for move-in day so I could make a good first physical impression, and then I decided to just leave them out permanently after I persuaded my boyfriend into telling me what he thought about me without them (he likes it without them, but was quick to say that he thought I was beautiful no matter what). I no longer feel the need to have them in, and feel just as confident without them. I am in a really good place in my life right now, and am the happiest I have ever been (even before I started dating my boyfriend). I am truly confident and happy and according to my parents it radiates from my body and face and smile.
So, here are a few tips for anyone moving into a dorm for the first time.
1. You are going to need more, and less, than you think. You may think you need tons and tons of storage bins, but realize that you don't have very many places to put the bins. You also don't need as many perfume options as you think, but lotion is always good to have backups of!
2. CHAPSTICK. You may think you don't need backups of your backups, but not only will you use the CRAP out of it, you will lose at least 4 tubes while you move in.
3. You're probably going to need 2 trash cans, because you will fill up one trash can and be too lazy to actually empty it.
4. Bring an internet cable so you can hardwire into the network. It increases your download speeds and Netflix doesn't stop and load in the middle of a Gossip Girl or Criminal Minds episode.
5. Let your parents help you decorate and put things away; even if you end up rearranging and undoing all that they did. They are going to feel like they are losing you, and this little bit of controlling helps them move on, believe it or not. Also, they are going to call and text you a lot once you first move out. Call them back, send them emails, text them how your day is going. I promise the messages will slow down, but for now they are trying to cope with you being gone. HELP THEM!
6. You will need more Christmas lights and lamps than you think. In our dorm, we have one hospital light to illuminate our entire room, which means harsh lighted middles and dark corners. Hanging up strings of Christmas lights or bringing a lamp or two will really help brighten things up.
7. You are going to need more power strips than you think. We have 4 in our room alone, not to mention our bathroom, and living area. And 3 of the 4 power strips are all full.
8. You will thank yourself for buying a separate fridge and freezer. Yes, they take up more room, but our tiny mini fridge with an even tinier freezer on top hold a Brita filter, a starbucks cup, one take out box, and maybe a water bottle, while the freezer holds a couple Ben and Jerry's, and some ice cube trays. Splurge and buy separate fridge and freezers. You'll thank yourself when you don't have to use your Tetris skills to fit your leftover Chili's food in your fridge.
9. Bring poster boards. My roommates and I have made several trips to target, and one was to get poster board to decorate our room.
10. Bring toilet paper. You have no idea how fast you go through this until you have to buy it yourself.
11. AIR FRESHNERS.
12. Always remember to use a courtesy flush, and a courtesy air freshener spritz after doing your business. Your roommates will thank you.
13. Leave your door open when you are just hanging out so you have the opportunity to meet new people. It's college, which is a time to meet new people, and what better way to do that than to leave your door open and say hi to anyone who walks by! No one will think you're weird, everyone thinks my roommates and I are super friendly and several people stop by to say hello everyday.
14. Bring a car on campus, if you have the opportunity to. It's a life saver when you run out of tampons in the middle of the week and your roommates are all busy with homework.
15. Take the stairs. This not only combats the freshman 15, but is better for your health. I live on the sixth floor of our building, and take the stairs nearly every time, unless my arms are full of stuff, just to stay healthy and lose a few calories.
16. Walk to class, if you have the time. This is another way to stay healthy and active. Yes, biking and skateboarding are faster and are active, but walking is more relaxing, and works more muscles in your body.
17. Bring some kind of rolling bin or trolley to help during move-in day. This was seriously a life saver for me.
18. Always have spare cash on hand to buy food, or pay your roommates for a drive to the store.
19. Check out the area surrounding your school for restaurants, shopping centers, parks, and gas stations.
20. Finally, have fun! College isn't for forever, so enjoy it while it lasts!
I know I am just barely starting, but these things have already become glaringly obvious to me.
Until next time,
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina Michelle
My roommates are absolutely wonderful, and I enjoy hanging out with them a lot. We have so many laughs together, and being with them is so fun. I have not attended very many of the Welcome Week events, just because they did not interest me, but me and my roommate have at least stopped in and stayed for a few minutes at each event.
Our dorm room door stays open most of the time so anyone walking by can stop in and say hello, as we would like to meet new people and make everyone feel welcomed.
I have also had the opportunity to spend time with my lovely boyfriend, which I was not expecting to be able to do until I got more settled, which was a pleasant surprise. Tonight I am going to a birthday party for a girl we play volleyball with, and she actually invited me.
Another thing before I get to the bulk of this post, is a change I have made very recently. I decided that I would take out my lip rings for move-in day so I could make a good first physical impression, and then I decided to just leave them out permanently after I persuaded my boyfriend into telling me what he thought about me without them (he likes it without them, but was quick to say that he thought I was beautiful no matter what). I no longer feel the need to have them in, and feel just as confident without them. I am in a really good place in my life right now, and am the happiest I have ever been (even before I started dating my boyfriend). I am truly confident and happy and according to my parents it radiates from my body and face and smile.
So, here are a few tips for anyone moving into a dorm for the first time.
1. You are going to need more, and less, than you think. You may think you need tons and tons of storage bins, but realize that you don't have very many places to put the bins. You also don't need as many perfume options as you think, but lotion is always good to have backups of!
2. CHAPSTICK. You may think you don't need backups of your backups, but not only will you use the CRAP out of it, you will lose at least 4 tubes while you move in.
3. You're probably going to need 2 trash cans, because you will fill up one trash can and be too lazy to actually empty it.
4. Bring an internet cable so you can hardwire into the network. It increases your download speeds and Netflix doesn't stop and load in the middle of a Gossip Girl or Criminal Minds episode.
5. Let your parents help you decorate and put things away; even if you end up rearranging and undoing all that they did. They are going to feel like they are losing you, and this little bit of controlling helps them move on, believe it or not. Also, they are going to call and text you a lot once you first move out. Call them back, send them emails, text them how your day is going. I promise the messages will slow down, but for now they are trying to cope with you being gone. HELP THEM!
6. You will need more Christmas lights and lamps than you think. In our dorm, we have one hospital light to illuminate our entire room, which means harsh lighted middles and dark corners. Hanging up strings of Christmas lights or bringing a lamp or two will really help brighten things up.
7. You are going to need more power strips than you think. We have 4 in our room alone, not to mention our bathroom, and living area. And 3 of the 4 power strips are all full.
8. You will thank yourself for buying a separate fridge and freezer. Yes, they take up more room, but our tiny mini fridge with an even tinier freezer on top hold a Brita filter, a starbucks cup, one take out box, and maybe a water bottle, while the freezer holds a couple Ben and Jerry's, and some ice cube trays. Splurge and buy separate fridge and freezers. You'll thank yourself when you don't have to use your Tetris skills to fit your leftover Chili's food in your fridge.
9. Bring poster boards. My roommates and I have made several trips to target, and one was to get poster board to decorate our room.
10. Bring toilet paper. You have no idea how fast you go through this until you have to buy it yourself.
11. AIR FRESHNERS.
12. Always remember to use a courtesy flush, and a courtesy air freshener spritz after doing your business. Your roommates will thank you.
13. Leave your door open when you are just hanging out so you have the opportunity to meet new people. It's college, which is a time to meet new people, and what better way to do that than to leave your door open and say hi to anyone who walks by! No one will think you're weird, everyone thinks my roommates and I are super friendly and several people stop by to say hello everyday.
14. Bring a car on campus, if you have the opportunity to. It's a life saver when you run out of tampons in the middle of the week and your roommates are all busy with homework.
15. Take the stairs. This not only combats the freshman 15, but is better for your health. I live on the sixth floor of our building, and take the stairs nearly every time, unless my arms are full of stuff, just to stay healthy and lose a few calories.
16. Walk to class, if you have the time. This is another way to stay healthy and active. Yes, biking and skateboarding are faster and are active, but walking is more relaxing, and works more muscles in your body.
17. Bring some kind of rolling bin or trolley to help during move-in day. This was seriously a life saver for me.
18. Always have spare cash on hand to buy food, or pay your roommates for a drive to the store.
19. Check out the area surrounding your school for restaurants, shopping centers, parks, and gas stations.
20. Finally, have fun! College isn't for forever, so enjoy it while it lasts!
I know I am just barely starting, but these things have already become glaringly obvious to me.
Until next time,
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina Michelle
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Growing Up
Hello again everyone! I know I have been on hiatus for a while, but there has been a lot going on in my life recently. I have been changing and growing up a lot, deciding who I want to be, what kind of adult I am going to become.
I began my growing up mid-June, after summer camp and a lot of drama happened, and I decided "I need to change. I don't like the person I'm becoming." I did, and the girl that graduated high school is not the same girl that is here today. I started hanging out with people who were better for me (or so I thought), and they helped push me to become a better person. Of course, I eventually out-grew those people, and I saw that they were actually very childish and immature in nature, and I had to separate myself from them. I was very kind and considerate about it all, but they got hurt nonetheless.
I recently attended TRAC Camp. That is Teen Reach Adventure Camp, which is a camp for foster children to attend for a week during the summer, where they get to hang out with other kids like them, learn about God, and have the love of Christ poured into them from every direction and from the many of volunteers there. I stayed the entire week, for the boys and the girls camp. At the girls camp, I was a cousin, which essentially means I had one-on-one exposure to the girls, and was "down in the trenches". For boys camp, I was an Aunt, and just helped out in any way I could. Whether that be running down to grab blankets and pillows because some kids forgot some, or running with a cousin to take a camper to the bathroom, I did anything I was asked to do. I made some wonderful friends there, one of which no one believed we had met on our way to camp. We were extremely close!
I actually met someone very important to me now while I was there. I began dating one of the men that I had talked to nearly all of boys camp, and he is absolutely wonderful. He is so hilarious and kind-hearted and loves God. But enough about my super awesome and extremely STUNNING boyfriend, that's not the point of this post ;)
I came back from that camp changed as well. I decided I needed to change not only my inner thoughts, but my outward actions and appearances. I did a cleanse of my closet, which consisted of taking every piece of clothing I own and piling it in the middle of my room and looking at each piece and asking "Does it make me happy?" and "Does it fit? Is it flattering? Would I buy this again? DO I WANT TO KEEP IT?" I ended up getting rid of almost, possibly more than, half of my clothes. They just did not suit the person I am trying to be, or they were not exactly modest (I have also noticed myself unconsciously becoming more modest these days). I have been working on slowly replacing those clothes with ones that make me really happy, and that better suit who I want to be and how I want to be viewed. (I've also been picking up some pieces for dates, since I recently went on my first date EVER and I realized how few nice clothing items I own.)
With this, comes a difficult decision.
I have the desire to take out my lip piercing, but I also do not want to because I still like the way they look.
So, I have decided how I will come to the conclusion of my lip piercings' future: I'm going to let my boyfriend decide.
Now, I'm not going to tell him "I can't decide so you have to". I'm just going to take them out next time I see him, and say "I'm thinking of leaving them out. What do you think? Would you prefer that I put them back in? Or leave them out?" (not exactly like that, but you get the point). One thing is for sure, putting on lipstick would be a little easier!!
I feel myself turning into an adult, and I know I am ready to move on to the next stage in my life, which is college. I feel confident, self-assured, and I know what I want to do, I know who I want to be, and I have an amazing boyfriend by my side that teases me as well as builds me up and makes me a better Christian and woman. I know I haven't known him very long, but it feels like I have been hanging out with him for months. Maybe it's the fact that I have spent every minute that we are both free and it is possible to be together, with him, or maybe its just chemistry (I really think its a mixture of the two) oh man, if he ever reads this he will either be freaked out or think its endearing and cute. Or both, he's a weirdo so maybe both ;)
Anyway, I'm going to go and continue looking at stuff for college. I'm sure a post about my college shopping experiences is soon to come, probably a do and don't list, or a WATCH OUT FOR THESE HORRIBLY STRESSFUL THINGS list... who knows?
As always,
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina Michelle
I began my growing up mid-June, after summer camp and a lot of drama happened, and I decided "I need to change. I don't like the person I'm becoming." I did, and the girl that graduated high school is not the same girl that is here today. I started hanging out with people who were better for me (or so I thought), and they helped push me to become a better person. Of course, I eventually out-grew those people, and I saw that they were actually very childish and immature in nature, and I had to separate myself from them. I was very kind and considerate about it all, but they got hurt nonetheless.
I recently attended TRAC Camp. That is Teen Reach Adventure Camp, which is a camp for foster children to attend for a week during the summer, where they get to hang out with other kids like them, learn about God, and have the love of Christ poured into them from every direction and from the many of volunteers there. I stayed the entire week, for the boys and the girls camp. At the girls camp, I was a cousin, which essentially means I had one-on-one exposure to the girls, and was "down in the trenches". For boys camp, I was an Aunt, and just helped out in any way I could. Whether that be running down to grab blankets and pillows because some kids forgot some, or running with a cousin to take a camper to the bathroom, I did anything I was asked to do. I made some wonderful friends there, one of which no one believed we had met on our way to camp. We were extremely close!
I actually met someone very important to me now while I was there. I began dating one of the men that I had talked to nearly all of boys camp, and he is absolutely wonderful. He is so hilarious and kind-hearted and loves God. But enough about my super awesome and extremely STUNNING boyfriend, that's not the point of this post ;)
I came back from that camp changed as well. I decided I needed to change not only my inner thoughts, but my outward actions and appearances. I did a cleanse of my closet, which consisted of taking every piece of clothing I own and piling it in the middle of my room and looking at each piece and asking "Does it make me happy?" and "Does it fit? Is it flattering? Would I buy this again? DO I WANT TO KEEP IT?" I ended up getting rid of almost, possibly more than, half of my clothes. They just did not suit the person I am trying to be, or they were not exactly modest (I have also noticed myself unconsciously becoming more modest these days). I have been working on slowly replacing those clothes with ones that make me really happy, and that better suit who I want to be and how I want to be viewed. (I've also been picking up some pieces for dates, since I recently went on my first date EVER and I realized how few nice clothing items I own.)
With this, comes a difficult decision.
I have the desire to take out my lip piercing, but I also do not want to because I still like the way they look.
So, I have decided how I will come to the conclusion of my lip piercings' future: I'm going to let my boyfriend decide.
Now, I'm not going to tell him "I can't decide so you have to". I'm just going to take them out next time I see him, and say "I'm thinking of leaving them out. What do you think? Would you prefer that I put them back in? Or leave them out?" (not exactly like that, but you get the point). One thing is for sure, putting on lipstick would be a little easier!!
I feel myself turning into an adult, and I know I am ready to move on to the next stage in my life, which is college. I feel confident, self-assured, and I know what I want to do, I know who I want to be, and I have an amazing boyfriend by my side that teases me as well as builds me up and makes me a better Christian and woman. I know I haven't known him very long, but it feels like I have been hanging out with him for months. Maybe it's the fact that I have spent every minute that we are both free and it is possible to be together, with him, or maybe its just chemistry (I really think its a mixture of the two) oh man, if he ever reads this he will either be freaked out or think its endearing and cute. Or both, he's a weirdo so maybe both ;)
Anyway, I'm going to go and continue looking at stuff for college. I'm sure a post about my college shopping experiences is soon to come, probably a do and don't list, or a WATCH OUT FOR THESE HORRIBLY STRESSFUL THINGS list... who knows?
As always,
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina Michelle
Monday, March 30, 2015
My Life is NOT Together
I do not have my life together, by any means, but I feel as though I am getting there.
I recently got accepted into Grand Canyon University with the Presidential Scholarship, and after auditioning into the Theatre Program was given another $2,000 scholarship on top of that. I was completely through the roof when I got the call; I just couldn't believe I had actually gotten a scholarship. I know what I want to major in, and I have a backup plan or two or three in case that profession does not work out for me, or in case it, as it seems it may, gets fazed out within the next decade or possibly less.
Senior year is a time when teenagers are supposed to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their life, and commit to an institution that they will live it for essentially the next four years. It is a stressful year, as they still have to worry about their grades on top of that, and worry about maintaining or obtaining scholarships. I am nearly done with my senior year, and I can say it has been extremely stressful. As I registered for courses this year, all of the Senior Government classes were filled, and so I had to take it online starting this semester. I was honestly disappointed, as taking online classes is cool, since I can set my own pace, but it is also stressful, as you have to finish an 18 week long course in 9 weeks. The stress this puts on students is immense, and I have talked to several of my classmates about their online class progression. One told me that they had 17 days left in their class, and had 4 and a half units left to complete. There are usually between 8 and 10 units within a course. They also had already gotten an extension on the course. The issue is balancing your regular schoolwork with your after school job, sports, family time, sleep, and the addition of a whole other class you have to complete in your own home, where distractions are everywhere.
I am managing to keep slightly ahead of pace in this class, but only because I dedicate about 4 hours to the class each day; this is after my normal school day, which is also about 4 hours. This course is rather difficult and requires extensive work, which accounts for the long period of time it takes to complete the work in a day.
I am doing all of this simply so I can become a Theatre Educator in four and a half years.
Now to the point of this whole post (man, can I rabbit-trail or what?); how I came to the conclusion that that was what I wanted to do with my life.
I can honestly say that it took me a while to realize what I was meant to do, and what I enjoyed doing. Never did I think, "oh my goodness I REALLY want to be a teacher when I'm all grown up!" as a child. I was always saying "I want to be a nurse!" or "a vet!" or "a musician!" or "a tour manager!" or "a band manager!" and for a time, "a professional piercer!". I sort of stumbled upon my calling one day as I sat in class.
I was in theatre, and my mind was wandering as it often does, and I thought to myself, "wow, I really love theatre! The teachers I have had have been absolutely amazing and have taught me so much. I have watched them turn kids from indifferent towards the arts to advocates for the program within the span of four years or less. I would love to do that!"
That night, I went home and right before bed, I remembered what I did all the time as a child: I taught.
I taught myself to read.
I taught myself to write.
I taught myself to type.
I taught myself math.
I taught myself English.
I taught myself to write stories.
I taught my siblings to play instruments.
I taught my friends dance moves.
I taught myself to ride a bike.
I taught my friends how to properly climb trees.
I watched tutorials.
I taught myself to knit.
I taught.
All the time. I realized just how often I was teaching others and myself! I truly enjoyed it. And then I remembered Freshman year, when my lovely theatre teacher. Mr. Flora, or as we called him, "Flo", gave me the opportunity to direct a short, 10 minute one act.
I wrote that play, I cast the play, and I directed the HELL out of that play. He commended me on my fantastic script, and congratulated me on a rather well put-together play (as well as an inexperienced Freshman could do). I had a passion for theatre, and I had a passion for teaching. I loved it. I loved to show others how wonderful this art could be, and to show them the value within it.
I wanted to show E V E R Y O N E how wonderful Theatre was.
It took me YEARS to figure out what I wanted, but only a few days to say "Yes. That's it. That's what I want to do forever and ever." That's all it takes. It only takes you discovering yourself and listening to what your brain and heart know and love.
However, as many of you Arizonans know, our Arts programs are in danger.
There is the threat of having them cut. My sophomore year we were told there may not be band or theatre or tech classes after we graduate.
There just isn't a passion for the arts anymore, and the government, local and national, do not seem to think it is important, which is totally untrue. I have seen how important the Arts are, how they help people with mental issues, with social anxiety and depression. I K N O W how important they are, and I want to spread this passion, and start it in others.
THAT is how I decided what I wanted to do. Once I learned that my AMAZING theatre program at Highland High School may not exist in five years, I knew I wanted to be the change necessary to keep the arts in Arizona schools, and all schools in the nation.
I am so happy and excited to be going to school for my passion, and I cannot wait to get out into the world and begin to leave my mark on not only whatever school I get hired at, but on the students in my classes, on the district, on my state, on my country. I want to be the change. I want to start the revolution. I want to be a part of the solution, not the problem.
And THAT is how you decide what you want to do with your life. You find your passion, and you go for it. You jump in, regardless of what people are saying the future holds for it. There are backup options for me as well, English Teacher, Music Teacher for elementary students...With an education degree I can basically get a minor in any field and be able to teach it here in Arizona (which is why there are so many under-qualified teachers within our schools). There will always be options for me.
I know being a teacher does not pay much, but I honestly do not care. I am going to be doing what I love: the money is just an upside to it.
If you do not have your life together, please stop worrying! You are young, and there are so many people who NEVER get their lives "together", but live wonderfully happy and fulfilling lives. Who cares if you have everything together? That sounds super boring to me, honestly. Life should be full of adventures and unknown things. If your life is together, where is the mystery? You know how your story ends.
For me, my story is just beginning.
I recently got accepted into Grand Canyon University with the Presidential Scholarship, and after auditioning into the Theatre Program was given another $2,000 scholarship on top of that. I was completely through the roof when I got the call; I just couldn't believe I had actually gotten a scholarship. I know what I want to major in, and I have a backup plan or two or three in case that profession does not work out for me, or in case it, as it seems it may, gets fazed out within the next decade or possibly less.
Senior year is a time when teenagers are supposed to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their life, and commit to an institution that they will live it for essentially the next four years. It is a stressful year, as they still have to worry about their grades on top of that, and worry about maintaining or obtaining scholarships. I am nearly done with my senior year, and I can say it has been extremely stressful. As I registered for courses this year, all of the Senior Government classes were filled, and so I had to take it online starting this semester. I was honestly disappointed, as taking online classes is cool, since I can set my own pace, but it is also stressful, as you have to finish an 18 week long course in 9 weeks. The stress this puts on students is immense, and I have talked to several of my classmates about their online class progression. One told me that they had 17 days left in their class, and had 4 and a half units left to complete. There are usually between 8 and 10 units within a course. They also had already gotten an extension on the course. The issue is balancing your regular schoolwork with your after school job, sports, family time, sleep, and the addition of a whole other class you have to complete in your own home, where distractions are everywhere.
I am managing to keep slightly ahead of pace in this class, but only because I dedicate about 4 hours to the class each day; this is after my normal school day, which is also about 4 hours. This course is rather difficult and requires extensive work, which accounts for the long period of time it takes to complete the work in a day.
I am doing all of this simply so I can become a Theatre Educator in four and a half years.
Now to the point of this whole post (man, can I rabbit-trail or what?); how I came to the conclusion that that was what I wanted to do with my life.
I can honestly say that it took me a while to realize what I was meant to do, and what I enjoyed doing. Never did I think, "oh my goodness I REALLY want to be a teacher when I'm all grown up!" as a child. I was always saying "I want to be a nurse!" or "a vet!" or "a musician!" or "a tour manager!" or "a band manager!" and for a time, "a professional piercer!". I sort of stumbled upon my calling one day as I sat in class.
I was in theatre, and my mind was wandering as it often does, and I thought to myself, "wow, I really love theatre! The teachers I have had have been absolutely amazing and have taught me so much. I have watched them turn kids from indifferent towards the arts to advocates for the program within the span of four years or less. I would love to do that!"
That night, I went home and right before bed, I remembered what I did all the time as a child: I taught.
I taught myself to read.
I taught myself to write.
I taught myself to type.
I taught myself math.
I taught myself English.
I taught myself to write stories.
I taught my siblings to play instruments.
I taught my friends dance moves.
I taught myself to ride a bike.
I taught my friends how to properly climb trees.
I watched tutorials.
I taught myself to knit.
I taught.
All the time. I realized just how often I was teaching others and myself! I truly enjoyed it. And then I remembered Freshman year, when my lovely theatre teacher. Mr. Flora, or as we called him, "Flo", gave me the opportunity to direct a short, 10 minute one act.
I wrote that play, I cast the play, and I directed the HELL out of that play. He commended me on my fantastic script, and congratulated me on a rather well put-together play (as well as an inexperienced Freshman could do). I had a passion for theatre, and I had a passion for teaching. I loved it. I loved to show others how wonderful this art could be, and to show them the value within it.
I wanted to show E V E R Y O N E how wonderful Theatre was.
It took me YEARS to figure out what I wanted, but only a few days to say "Yes. That's it. That's what I want to do forever and ever." That's all it takes. It only takes you discovering yourself and listening to what your brain and heart know and love.
However, as many of you Arizonans know, our Arts programs are in danger.
There is the threat of having them cut. My sophomore year we were told there may not be band or theatre or tech classes after we graduate.
There just isn't a passion for the arts anymore, and the government, local and national, do not seem to think it is important, which is totally untrue. I have seen how important the Arts are, how they help people with mental issues, with social anxiety and depression. I K N O W how important they are, and I want to spread this passion, and start it in others.
THAT is how I decided what I wanted to do. Once I learned that my AMAZING theatre program at Highland High School may not exist in five years, I knew I wanted to be the change necessary to keep the arts in Arizona schools, and all schools in the nation.
I am so happy and excited to be going to school for my passion, and I cannot wait to get out into the world and begin to leave my mark on not only whatever school I get hired at, but on the students in my classes, on the district, on my state, on my country. I want to be the change. I want to start the revolution. I want to be a part of the solution, not the problem.
And THAT is how you decide what you want to do with your life. You find your passion, and you go for it. You jump in, regardless of what people are saying the future holds for it. There are backup options for me as well, English Teacher, Music Teacher for elementary students...With an education degree I can basically get a minor in any field and be able to teach it here in Arizona (which is why there are so many under-qualified teachers within our schools). There will always be options for me.
I know being a teacher does not pay much, but I honestly do not care. I am going to be doing what I love: the money is just an upside to it.
If you do not have your life together, please stop worrying! You are young, and there are so many people who NEVER get their lives "together", but live wonderfully happy and fulfilling lives. Who cares if you have everything together? That sounds super boring to me, honestly. Life should be full of adventures and unknown things. If your life is together, where is the mystery? You know how your story ends.
For me, my story is just beginning.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
My New 'Do
My hair has always been something others have complimented, mostly in the way of "wow I wish my hair was as long as yours!" I'm not saying this to brag in the slightest, more to give context to what I am about to say and detail, so the story has more meaning.
I just cut off six inches of my hair in addition to the foot that I cut off in August, and I am more than happy with my decision. My hair has always been below-the-bra length, and now it is just below the shoulder, and I couldn't be more happy with it. This is not true of everyone I have encountered, though.
When I first walked into school with my new 'do, I was met with mixed reactions. Some people, partially in disbelief, asked the ever-annoying question of "did you cut your hair?". No, those six inches just walked off from the rest of my hair in the middle of the night for a trip to France. They should be back in about two weeks. Others, complimented the change. "Wow it looks so great!" "That look really suits you!" And yet, some said things that I couldn't decide if they were meant as compliments or to say they did not like the change. "Your hair is so short!" "Wow you look so different!" "I can't believe you cut it off!"
Some people were not so thrilled with the idea. "Your princess hair! You cut your princess hair off!" "NO JAINA NO!!" and even "You dumb bitch!", although that was said partially in jest, as the next comment was "I like it, it looks good, but man, I told you not to cut it!"
I want to go off of the other questions I received, such as "Why did you cut it?" and "Why so short? Why now?" The answer to all of those and many more, is simple. I wanted to, so I did.
Why does it matter what my thinking was, or how I was feeling that day, or how long I thought about it before chopping my long locks off? Do I really need more reason than "I wanted to?" And about the last comment, the one where they told me not to cut it, what does it matter what you think? I have to look at myself in the mirror everyday, and I have to wake up and style this mess everyday. You don't have to do a thing but see me for one hour five days a week. I believe the decision was and is purely mine.
My parents were another force in this whole equation, with my father wanting me to keep it long and he wasn't afraid about saying so, and my mother telling me to just do what I wanted and not try to please others with my decision. I wanted to cut my hair shorter for a few months, but I had an Anna gig in the beginning of this month, so I had to keep it long until then. I decided that the weekend after that I was going to snip off more than I ever had before.
I believe there were some girls living their long hair dreams vicariously through me, as my hair used to descend below my butt, and was straight and relatively healthy for the longest time. But I wanted a change, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my hair. In August, I was afraid to go that short that quickly, so I cut it about six inches longer than what I wanted, and decided to adjust to that length before cutting more off. Five months later, and I was back in the chair excited to get the haircut I had been wanting for several months.
Below I have included pictures of my hair before and afters, for you to get a reference of the length of my hair. The picture where it is the longest is actually after cutting about two and a half inches off. Yeah, I went from that to the second longest picture in a week.
The thing I want you to take away from this post, is that you need to do what you want to, what makes you happy and not others. Because at the beginning of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and get yourself ready. No one else has to.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Identity
Everyone has something they consider their "identity", and some times your identity is not even something you personally identify yourself as, but more of what others identify you as. For me, my identity used to be my long hair. And I do not mean long hair as in, it falls to my boobs. No, long hair as in, when I was in the shower it went down my buttcrack. Long hair as in, I had to loop it around my hand to use the bathroom so I did not get anything on it. I loved my long hair for a while, but then I felt like I needed a change
I began telling others I was craving a hair change, and they said "don't you dare cut it! Your hair is so beautiful!" And I felt pressured to keep my length. I started to not like my length as much. But I kept it, and instead decided to change my color, which I was no longer in love with. My blonde hair had begun turning a muted brown, with no variety or definition. So I dyed it a beautiful red color, and got backlash when I strutted into school with it. "What happened to your beautiful blonde??? What did you do??? Why??" I felt self conscious, but every time I looked in the mirror I loved the way I looked, thought I looked prettier with my darker locks.
I lost my blonde hair identity. And I didn't care.
I gained a new identity, as the girl with long red hair. And not too long after that, the girl with long red hair and lip piercings.
I still was not satisfied with my hair though. I wanted a change. And after a really hard breakup, I decided "screw it. I tried to please everyone by keeping my hair, and it got me nowhere. I need a confidence boost right now, so I'm chopping it." And chop it I did. I cut off a whopping 13.5 inches, and never looked back. It was still below my shoulders, falling down to the end of my bra, but it was a liberating experience. My best friend was totally supportive in all of this, giving me her hairstylists number, and coming along with me to the appointment, and even giving her input on the layers and styling of it. I can't thank her enough for being so supportive and reassuring during the whole process.
I lost the long hair identity that others had pinned on me, but I felt sexier, more confident, and a hell of a lot better about wearing ponytails and buns.
The point of all of this is that others will give you an identity, and you do not need to feel constrained to that. You are your own person, and if you want to change your identity, or change what people identify you as or with, then do it! Be happy with who you are, because at the end of the day, people leave your life constantly, and everyone has their own individual opinions which honestly should not affect you in any way. Love yourself, and love others. Be supportive of change, because how can we grow if we do not change?
I just wanted to type up a quick post for you all while waiting for my food at a restaurant. I hope you do not let your identity control your decisions, because identifies can change with the drop of a hat.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Jaina
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