Wedding Help

Considering I recently planned and executed my own wedding without a planner and only my mom and family to help set everything up, I decided it might be helpful if I created a little list of things I think are important when planning your own wedding on a budget. There were things I think I did well with, and things I think I could have improved or used. I learned what is actually important, and what you can kind of ignore when it comes to this special day. So let's get into this!!

1. The Ceremony

Probably the most important part of your day when it comes to the ambiance and experience for you as the couple. I was really happy that we kept it small with less than 50 people, and had it in a pretty cheap location that was still beautiful and easy to dress up ($100/hour multi-purpose space in my parents' neighborhood). My family set up some folding chairs that came with the venue (if you can find a venue that comes with tables and chairs, and has the look you want, TAKE IT! It was so nice to not have to worry about renting tables and chairs), and my husband and I had created an "archway" out of PVC pipes that were 8 foot tall and 5 foot wide that we put borrowed curtains on, along with some borrowed paper lanterns to make it look fancier. The whole thing cost us around $5, and that's me overestimating!! We paid for a photographer and videographer and had a friend and pastor do the ceremony. Otherwise, it was pretty laid back!

One thing I wish I had thought of or sprung for was someone to cue the wedding party when to walk down the aisle. No one was there, so the party mostly walked down altogether, and then I was left waiting and not knowing when I should walk. I had a specific moment in the song picked out for when I would emerge, but that came and went before the Flowergirl even went out!! My brother was working the music through a Bluetooth speaker from my phone and had to restart the song, and I waited for the piece to fully get started and work up to a good point before I walked out. I'm sure it was really awkward for everyone waiting in the audience, and I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get to walk out when I had dreamed of, but overall it went well. Definitely assign someone to cueing the party to walk, and have a rehearsal (I also didn't have one of those because we didn't get in to the venue until two hours before the ceremony, but I should have thought to get the party together at some point the week before to walk through the walk).

2. The Reception

This is the part of the wedding your guests will ACTUALLY remember, and is probably the most stressful and busy part of the day for the bride and groom. It didn't help that I felt incredibly nauseous the whole time because I was overheating in my dress thanks to taking pictures with the wedding party outside immediately following the ceremony, and it was probably 100 degrees or warmer at the time. I didn't eat any of the food, but I will say we only spent around $800 on all of the food! We had a local BBQ joint cater to the wedding, and as it was a local business and it wasn't super fancy food, it cost a lot less! It also helped that we kept the wedding small. My favorite cake of all time is Safeway (grocery store in Arizona) chocolate and cookies and cream cake, so we had those for dessert along with homemade gluten-free chocolate cupcakes a family friend lovingly made for me. I ate nothing, but I know it all tasted delicious as it was all things I had eaten many times before and will probably eat many more times to come!
No one really danced at the wedding, I had music playing and the floor was cleared where the ceremony was held, but the group we had there wasn't really the dancing type. Instead, I made my rounds to each table talking to people and thanking them for coming while showing off my beautiful new wedding ring!
I had created three separate playlists for the big day, labeled CEREMONY, DINNER, and RECEPTION. They contained all the music necessary, and I had instructions I printed up for whoever would be controlling the music. The dinner playlist had slower love songs, the reception playlist had faster and more upbeat love songs and throwbacks, and the ceremony playlist was pretty short and only included the song we would walk down the aisle to, leave the ceremony to, and the daddy-daughter dance, mother-son dance, and bride and groom first dance songs.
We had bought a 100 count box of wedding bubbles from Michael's, that was meant for grand exits. We were not going to do a grand exit so instead, we let the kids at the wedding have free access to the bubbles during dinner and the reception. They had fun, we had fun watching them, and it created a whole other fun thing for them to do during dinner! There was also craft paper on the table with crayons so kids and adults could color!


If I could change anything about the reception, other than me not feeling sick the whole time, would be to have more people dance, or have more games planned so it wasn't just a bunch of sitting around and talking. We played the shoe game, and it would have been fun if we had a few more planned since no one really wanted to dance.

3. Decorations

Honestly, no one remembers the decor aside from the bride. Because of this, I wasn't really concerned with it, and the night before the wedding, my mom and I took a trip to Michael's and the dollar store, where we purchased all of the decorations. The colors I chose for the wedding were Teal/Turquoise for the wedding party and ceremony, and Green, White, and Brown/Burlap/Textured for the reception and dinner. We bought white tablecloths from the dollar store and put brown craft paper from Michael's across the tables, with blue flower petals surrounding little mason jars decorated with some blue ribbon (all from Michael's) with crayons scattered on the tables. We bought a 120 box of crayons and evenly distributed them among the tables. The wedding party table had the flower petals as well with the craft paper, but no crayons.

I personally wouldn't have done anything different with the decor! It looked so beautiful thanks to a family friend who used the mish-mash of supplies to create a beautiful scene.

4. Planning

I planned this whole thing in around a month, as it had originally been intended to be a courthouse wedding with a casual party immediately following, and then turned into the full-on wedding. I would have loved to have more time to plan it, to get more fancy decorations, maybe have an engagement photoshoot and print professional programs (I bought some cardstock and created a template online and printed them myself on my parents' printer the night before), but having a wedding under $10,000 including my dress, the photographer, videographer, and my hair and makeup (I did my own makeup, my best friends sister did my hair for free in exchange for a wedding invitation), I can't really complain!!


Hopefully, this list/discussion helped you figure out what things you need and don't need in your wedding, and what things a bride personally found important (mainly good photos, really. And the right music playing at the right time). And if it didn't, feel free to comment any questions you may have and I can do my best to answer them!

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
- I bought my dress at an off-the-rack discount bridal store called Brilliant Bridal. The dress was around $700 including alterations, done by a lady who does alterations as a side job (and the dress looked BEAUTIFUL)
- I did my own makeup (and can do yours too if you live in Arizona. Follow me on Instagram @jainamichellemakeup for more information!)
- The Groomsmen wore any black slacks, black shoes, and white button-ups they had and we provided the ties for them which were around $15-20 each.
- The bridesmaids did their own hair and makeup however they wanted and wore whatever shoes and accessories they wanted or had
- The dress code for the wedding was whatever the hell you wanted to wear
- Children were welcomed and encouraged to attend
- I changed out of my dress once most of the guests had left, but really changed out when I had just had enough of being hot and sweaty in that dress.
- I only wore heels for the ceremony, and I found the heels on ThredUp for under $20.

Don't go overboard for your wedding unless you have always dreamed of a huge wedding and can afford it. Don't go into debt over one day of your life. A good photographer can make any wedding look amazing, and the photos are the most important part. We haven't taken a honeymoon yet as we haven't been able to afford it, so our plan is to take our honeymoon on our one year anniversary.

I think that's all I have, for now, more life updates to come soon, I'm sure!

Thanks for putting up with me,
Jaina